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What does going on really mean
that life should return to normal routine
like just opening up a magazine
seeing my wife suffering even on morphine.

Many will say she's in pain no more
with me no longer haunting a hospital corridor
and I can once again build up my reservoir
though relics of her agony continue to wash ashore.

Images in my mind just can't be erased
like seeing her laden with double bags of waste
being surgically violated yet remaining so chaste
and seeing needles poked in her then being replaced.

Will never stop remembering how long it took
to even get a specialist to take a look
and I shopping and healthy foods trying to cook
and everywhere in the house a cancer book.

Somethings will be impossible to forget
how her eyes in suffering with tears got wet
how she struggled from bed to see a sunset
and always seeing the holes instead of the net.

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I must have tried about ten times to write something here that might be meaningful. I couldn't find anything to say. There really are no words that anyone can say to you to ease the pain you are feeling.

I only hope that you don't give up on life. It isn't important to think about tomorrow. What is important is that you have today and the two of you can be together. Today. Just today. And if tomorrow comes, you will have another day together. I think that sometimes that's all we get anyway.

Thanks Jane for your kind and thoughtful words and for taking the time to express them. It might seem like a drop of rain into an ocean of sorrow but it does help, really it does, and is very much appreciated. Was going to post another poem, but I think I have been overdoing it lately. I will continue to write them, though I myself will cry after writing and rereading some of them so I don't know how helpful it really is for me.


You are not overdoing anything, especially writing your feelings in poetry. It probably doesn't feel like it helps you but it does help.

Journaling is a good way to express thoughts and feelings and keep an account of situations (especially when taking care of a loved one). Your poetry is sort of like a journal.

Maybe, right now, your poems aren't intended to make you feel better. Maybe you are supposed to cry. I don't know any of that for sure. I only know they are a beautiful tribute to Gloria and all that you and she are facing right now.


I too am praying for your wife. Science has found prayer has positive effects. Just think as you pray that there are so many of us out there multiplying your prayers until the whole universe is filled with prayer. This is the gift you are giving your wife, even if she is too weak to know it right now.

I don't want to give you false hope, but people do recover from what seem to be incurable illnesses; I have met a few in my life. And other good people do not, but there is hope.

I know how lonely it is when one's partner has retreated into silence. I found myself alone in a strange city where we had gone for medical treatment, knowing practically no one, feeling like a stranger on this planet. Somehow I found myself again a long time later.

I am so sorry for what you are going through. May you too find peace from our prayers.
I'm one who had more fear than faith
but things are changing as of late
still in the valley not on the hill
but feeling your prayers and goodwill.

And for that I am so ever humbled
having lost hope and so often stumbled.
It's good to know that others so aware
of one's woes that they so deeply care.

And learning of their past travails
alone nobody to care for their ails
who crossed the abyss of their sorrow
and be able to help someone tomorrow.


Enjoy every second with the woman you love...
if only everyone could experience such closeness think what a better place this world would be..
I think by your writing and your posting it is helping you in ways you may not know...your feelings have to come out somehow and we feel honored that you are sharing them with all of us...

take care
Thank you PrairieGal, but the honor is mine that you all read the poems that I write and give such heartfelt feedback.

There's hardly a moment in the day or night that I don't wish my wife by my side. There isn't anything to fill the place she occupies in my heart. I try to connect with her in anyway I can. Guess that is the most anyone can do.


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