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I think we would all be clones. We could not help one another as we do here if noone had any journeys or challenges that make us unique. Of course for many, there are challenges and journeys we wish we did not experience, such as my sisters fatal car accident. I am not sure why some have to experience so much loss and unhappiness in their lives. But I am a firm believer that someone always has it worse. "There by the grace of God go I." Without life's experiences, what would we call "life/living?"
Oh my - if I didn't have these ups and downs of having my MIL with us?? I will be truly honest. I would come home from work, pour a glass of my favorite wine, sit on my back deck, read the paper until my husband came home and then have a good conversation with him. I would be able to get to work on time because I wouldn't have last minute jobs to do for her. My house would be back to being neat and tidy instead of her "nesting" areas. I would get a good nights sleep because I wouldn't be listening for her to get up several times in the middle of the night. I wouldn't worry about our finances so much. I wouldn't be scared every time she puts on her oxygen. I wouldn't have the fear every morning of her being gone.
But I know if she weren't here, I'd miss her. I also know, without my valleys, my infrequent trips to the mountains would not be so special. I also know that my relationship with God would not be so strong. And in my heart, I know there is a purpose in what I'm doing.
Thanks for letting me share these feelings and not be judged.
The grass is always greener on the other side until you get there.
I firmly believe that God does not give you what you cannot handle.
What reason would we have to get up for each day if we had no challenges? Could we really make our own life changing, learning experiences? Probably not!
We also need the bad times to appreciate the good ones! We wouldn't be able to distinguish the difference if we didn't have both.
Just my views!
I am inclined to go along with Jill.. much of what we go through is but a piece of the larger picture that we cannot always envision the higher power or universe has in store for us.. we are likened to living on this planet and being in a classroom, learning so many different life lessons.. letting go of old belief systems or patterns that no longer serve us.. not being distracted by the physical and getting in touch with the non physical.. our spirit... our soul and connecting with more than just the physical plane..the most important lesson we are all learning.. is opening to love..

and a flashback to your post on your daughter. When there is total unconditional love, then there should be no expectation.. so if you were really given unconditionally.. then your ego or emotions shouldn't get in the way and be hurt.. because you give without needing.. of course Robin, this is totally idealistic.. however, in this reality, the truth is that she was spoiled and given much more than you and your hubby every had.. and you were wanting her to not come from lack..or doing what you thought you were supposed to do.. anyway, we must find the balance from within ourselves.. keeping our power and reaching out to touch others and supporting them to remain empowered themselves but not at the expense of someone else..

I know that this one is a rambler but I needed to just respond as I have.. hope it makes some sense...

I am still curious since you have asked this question twice what you are finding from within?

What power on these boards! You all are so amazing.
When I posted this question on the other board, I thought it would be interesting to hear others views, and neglected to share my own.
Honestly, I couldn't imagine having life without stress, challenges, journeys. I believe all of these things make up who we all are. We are all made up of life experiences. Someone said we would all become clones. Scarey to think we would all be mentally, spiritually, physically alike! I mentioned this as I was thinking about how many times I hear myself, and others, beating themselves up about what life has dealt them. God has given us all a unique gift of love, life. I believe as others have said, *he will not give us more than we can handle*. There is a reason and a purpose for all that happens in our lives. We learn from each card we are dealt.
Funny you should bring this up because we had a sermon at church a couple weeks ago that is similiar to your question....why do bad things happen to good people?

I am not going to get into the sermon but I learned a lot from it. Basically we become stronger not only physically and emotionally but also spiritually each time we overcome an obstacle. Without the trials we face, we wouldn't enjoy the gifts we recieve each day.

What would my life be like without this experience? I have no idea....I am sure that I would have something else that I would be involved in. But this experience has helped me grow tremendously. I have learned to appreciate all the small things and know that my life is truly blessed.

Excellent question!

My personal ups and downs have changed me...I honestly don't think there's anything of the old me, prior to my mother's onset of illness,
Before she fell ill my life was carefree...I don't mean I was a bad person in any way, I just didn't have the "insight" or "character" I do now...taking care of her, plus watching my father and inlaws going through hardships due to health problems has made me a more caring person, enjoying the smallest things in life...just hearing my father laugh at something I've said makes me happy...
To any people who think having money or material belongings makes one happy...let me tell are dead, closeness and love, working through the bad times together...thats where it's at...

take care everyone...

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