I have always been a faith filled person.
I was raised Catholic and was taught to believe that God will not give you more than you can handle.
I know this is true.
During all of this with Mom's illness she never really complained much. she would do a lot of sighing...big heavy sighs....and always ask God how much more or why won't He just take her home.
When things were bad I would pray that God would take her quickly and to please just let this be over. Mom had been so sick many times before but she'd always rally...she was such a fighter. I really did not know how I was going to be able to handle much more.
One day about 2 weeks ago I stopped praying for Mom's suffering to be over. I stareted praying for God to give me the strength and courage to handle whatever was ahead.
I felt such a weight removed from my shoulders....just with in a matter of days.
I was not praying for the right thing.
I think God knew that deep inside I was not ready and He needed me to ask Him to get me ready. and He did.
I know that now Mom is with Him.....with His loving arms wrapped around her to keep her warm....she was always cold......
I know that He is with us all the time. He never goes away. He's just waiting for us to really tell Him what we need.