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I have a bunch to say - but no idea where to begin.

I will start with my Mother - her actue stage of schziophrenia is MUCH improved. Although she hears voices at times - it's not that frequent nor that disturbing to her. I guess her biggest on-going problem is the parnoid deluisions - that do not allow for me to actually "keep" a care-giver - cause somebody ALWAYS does something - most of the time made up. However, in the last few months - especially the last month - ALL SHE DOES IS SLEEP - which I am sorry to say in 1 way is wonderful - incase you don't remember every night practically used to be a sleeplness one - so I get A LOT more accomplished and even can sneak in TV - but I am concerned.

I have brought this up to her family Doctor who comes monthly for home visits - but she doesn't seem as concerned as me. But she does SLEEP in bed a good amount of time and when she is NOT sleeping in bed - she is resting in the recliner. She is awake to eat and LOVES to eat - nothing has changed that. Doctor suggested maybe depression - but I really think there is more. Problem is I cannot get her out of the house for any testing. I have cancelled 17 eye doctor appointments in the last 3 years (cause she is not up to going on the day the appointment is here) - 8 ear doctor appointments in the last 1 1/2 years - and 2 cardiologist appointments - and more physcatric appointments than I can count. She just flat out refuses to go and then becomes irrate. The DOctor has spoken to her - but nothing seems to get thru. So I do worry - and feel that something isn't right - but at the same time - I have a little bit of my life back.

Since my Father death in June - I guess I am doing "better". Been trying to keep busy. My job from home is ending very very soon - so have been beyond stressed trying to figure out what to do to pay the bills. Yesterday a wonderful job fell into my lap -working for home 1 day a week and out of the house 2 days a week - it will not be the pay that I am used to - but my mortgage will be paid -as well as the heating bill and food bill. My Mother managed to stay awake for a few hours crying uncontrollably that I will be leaving her 2 days a week - but I have NO CHOICE. I am making my daughter watch her one day - and a friend the other - although I need to pay them - its well worth it - lets see how quickly my Mother "fires" my friend. This starts the end of January - so wish me luck.

Then been keeping busy - did a benefit in October - which I raised $4,500 for cancer research - working on a "bear" project - which my goal is to raise $30,000 - but boy is that slow going. I keep putting out mor money to "market" the bear - but not getting a lot of response in return. I know I will get there - just such slow going.

Then after a year of research - I finally decided to take the plunge - and open my own non medicial senior care service. I will go into business with a friend - who will run the office day to day and I will work from home (ie: calls, billings, news letters, payrolls, training, procedures) etc - maybe getting to that office a few hours a week. I have so many great ideas from being on the "other side" and I want to break out of the typical "cookie cutter" mold. I also want to focus on the relative caring for the person as well as the person themselves - such as providing news letters - training programs - support groups etc. Just being a f/t care-giver - I think support out there for us lacks - but still want to provide quality care for the elderly person as well - our goal is to have the office open by May 2006. So needless to say I am beyond stressed - but busy - and busy is good - cause I don't "dwell" as much when I am busy - and makes the holidays a little more bearable - cause I am so overwhelmed with everything I don't have time to sit and be sad - the 1st year w/out my Father. But I realize that EVERYTHING happens for a reason - and I becamse a care-giver for a reason - and I guess this was the path I was supposed to take. If I never became a f/t care-giver I would have never even thought about the home care business - but life pointed me this way.

Well - just thought I would update everyone what is going on. Hope all of you are doing well - and have a blessed and healthy holiday season.

Hugs,

Janet
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Hi Janet:

What a upbeat update! I am glad to hear that you are getting your rest... It certainly helps the energy level, doesn't it?

As far as your mother goes, as long as she has a healthy appetite, that is a good sign! As far as her sleeping so much, could it be depression along with grieving for the loss of her husband at the same time? Your father, I imagine, was an intregal part of her life for such a long time and losing your dad must be like losing a right arm...

Your new job opportunity sounds wonderful for you and will take some of the stress off of you and breathe new life into you. I know that I go to school and, when we have our holiday/semester breaks, I miss the connection with the outside world! It makes such a difference in my mood and my feelings of optimism!

Good luck Janet in your endeavors! You have such untapped talents! We support YOU in all you do - you have been so supportive to us all. God bless you...

Love and Hugs from Glenda
Hello Janet... everything sounds absolutely wonderful...I think that the best thing you can do to help yourself and possibly your mother is to be away from her for a bit each week..

There is so much entrenchment in your past history and your responsibility to her... it's a very delicate balance but it really seems like things are opening for you and this is truly a blessing... keep us posted.. take care

gail

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