I have a bunch to say - but no idea where to begin.
I will start with my Mother - her actue stage of schziophrenia is MUCH improved. Although she hears voices at times - it's not that frequent nor that disturbing to her. I guess her biggest on-going problem is the parnoid deluisions - that do not allow for me to actually "keep" a care-giver - cause somebody ALWAYS does something - most of the time made up. However, in the last few months - especially the last month - ALL SHE DOES IS SLEEP - which I am sorry to say in 1 way is wonderful - incase you don't remember every night practically used to be a sleeplness one - so I get A LOT more accomplished and even can sneak in TV - but I am concerned.
I have brought this up to her family Doctor who comes monthly for home visits - but she doesn't seem as concerned as me. But she does SLEEP in bed a good amount of time and when she is NOT sleeping in bed - she is resting in the recliner. She is awake to eat and LOVES to eat - nothing has changed that. Doctor suggested maybe depression - but I really think there is more. Problem is I cannot get her out of the house for any testing. I have cancelled 17 eye doctor appointments in the last 3 years (cause she is not up to going on the day the appointment is here) - 8 ear doctor appointments in the last 1 1/2 years - and 2 cardiologist appointments - and more physcatric appointments than I can count. She just flat out refuses to go and then becomes irrate. The DOctor has spoken to her - but nothing seems to get thru. So I do worry - and feel that something isn't right - but at the same time - I have a little bit of my life back.
Since my Father death in June - I guess I am doing "better". Been trying to keep busy. My job from home is ending very very soon - so have been beyond stressed trying to figure out what to do to pay the bills. Yesterday a wonderful job fell into my lap -working for home 1 day a week and out of the house 2 days a week - it will not be the pay that I am used to - but my mortgage will be paid -as well as the heating bill and food bill. My Mother managed to stay awake for a few hours crying uncontrollably that I will be leaving her 2 days a week - but I have NO CHOICE. I am making my daughter watch her one day - and a friend the other - although I need to pay them - its well worth it - lets see how quickly my Mother "fires" my friend. This starts the end of January - so wish me luck.
Then been keeping busy - did a benefit in October - which I raised $4,500 for cancer research - working on a "bear" project - which my goal is to raise $30,000 - but boy is that slow going. I keep putting out mor money to "market" the bear - but not getting a lot of response in return. I know I will get there - just such slow going.
Then after a year of research - I finally decided to take the plunge - and open my own non medicial senior care service. I will go into business with a friend - who will run the office day to day and I will work from home (ie: calls, billings, news letters, payrolls, training, procedures) etc - maybe getting to that office a few hours a week. I have so many great ideas from being on the "other side" and I want to break out of the typical "cookie cutter" mold. I also want to focus on the relative caring for the person as well as the person themselves - such as providing news letters - training programs - support groups etc. Just being a f/t care-giver - I think support out there for us lacks - but still want to provide quality care for the elderly person as well - our goal is to have the office open by May 2006. So needless to say I am beyond stressed - but busy - and busy is good - cause I don't "dwell" as much when I am busy - and makes the holidays a little more bearable - cause I am so overwhelmed with everything I don't have time to sit and be sad - the 1st year w/out my Father. But I realize that EVERYTHING happens for a reason - and I becamse a care-giver for a reason - and I guess this was the path I was supposed to take. If I never became a f/t care-giver I would have never even thought about the home care business - but life pointed me this way.
Well - just thought I would update everyone what is going on. Hope all of you are doing well - and have a blessed and healthy holiday season.
Hugs,
Janet
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