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My hubby has beeen worse the last three days. I've had no sleep to speak of for the past 2 nights. He has 2 fractured bones in his back, and has been on morphine for the pain which has affectd his breathing problem making it much worse, also affecting his ability to urniate. He's been in bed since last evening7:30. I tried to get him to agree to go to outpatients at 3am this morning and again at 6 and again at 10 and he told me to leave him alone. He's so weak he can hardly stand up and his breathing is very laboured. Also he keeps having the urge to urinate but can't he said he thinks he's injured his bladder but he just wont agree to let me take him to the eemergency deept. of our hospital. I know I have to respect his decision but what am I to do??? PLEASE HELP.
Gloria
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Hi Gloria....

I am so sorry to hear your husband is worse...
That is so tough...To know it is his decision yet you are the one faced with watching his suffering...It sounds like he is quite fed up with it all so you must stay strong for him...
He may change his mind about the hospital if he gets any worse...In the meantime is there no doctors that would make a housecall, or something like a Home Care Nurse to come out to just check?
Sometimes a gentle nudge from a professional can help....
I know what you are going through in a way...My father will hide serious medical problems because he doesnt want to go to the hospital, but once they become too bad and noticeable....Well then there is just no choice...

Please stay strong...

PrairieGal
Gloria,

I am so deeply sorry to hear that your husband is getting worse. My heart goes out to you.

My husband was not anywhere near as bad as yours, but I have tended to take matters into my own hands, with the view that his thinking isn't clear at the time, so how is he to make the best decision? When he was wheezing REALLY bad a couple years ago, I ambushed him and dragged him to urgent care - he thought we were going somewhere else and once he found out the true destination, he complained the entire way there. Of course, after he found out he had pneumonia, he thanked me.

And then this past year, when he had pain in his stomach, I called for nurse aid. He finally got so bad he requested an ambulance - which terrified me because he usually wants NOTHING to do with hospitals, care for himself, etc. It turned out he had pancreatitis.

I would tend towards doing what you feel is right, but then you run the risk of his resentment for making him hang on. I'm sorry I don't have a more clear answer. Is he capable of making the decision himself or is he "out of it" - maybe this should be the deciding factor. Pain often greatly distorts our view as well - I'm sure I don't need to mention this to anyone at this site. I think I would agree with Prarie Gal to seek a housecall if you can. You also must look after yourself - if his wishes are not in writing and something should happen to him, you may be liable. I'm sorry I don't know your whole story. I hope you find a way to make peace with this.

All my best-
Dedra
I want to thank both of you ladies for coming to my rescue and for your support. Yees he is very capable of decideing what he wants and what he dosn't. A strong willed person.but I also have to be fair and say if hee had of gotten real bad hee would have giveen in, he's done tht before. But it takes a lot to bring him to that place.
I asked about having someone contact our family doctor but he would not hear of it. So I said fine. left him be mad dinnr took it up stairs on a tray and did th same for supper went upstairs and sat on the bed and had suppeer with him.
He seems to be better tonight he's sleeping soundly and not as uncomfortabl as last night and this moring, breathing still a bit laboureed but not as bad as last night or this morning. I'm not usd to him being in bed for two days in a row eitheer this is another factor which scared me. I asked him if he had just given up he said no but something to the effct of an old cow gets knocked off it's feeet but it gets back up and he would bee back up again. That's good to hear.
I want to thank both you lovely ladies for your love and support and for caring it rally helpd .
God bless you both If thr is ever anything I can do for you lt me know.
This site is a gift from God and you are all part of His ministering angels.
God richs's blssings on you.Gloria
Hi Gloria...

took some much needed respite for myself. I am so sorry to hear that your hubby wasn't doing well... I know how difficult it is for you with your own physical issues as well. I am also pleased the others were here to respond to you and that he is doing better today.

Maybe when he is feeling a bit stronger you can sit down and tell him how this frightens you. Maybe he can reassure you as to handle it so that you don't get panicked and worked up because that doesn't serve your immune system either.

I hope you are already sleeping soundly angel...I've missed you in the chats.

richest blessings
love & light
Gail

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