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has helped, but boy oh boy.......

Yesterday and today so far have been bad days.
I just wish sometimes that I could go away and never come back.

I don't know if my 'girls' are trying to drive me crazy or just trying to keep me busy but they are doing a little bit of both!!

DD was upset with me yesterday because I didn't want to go with her and my grandson to the doctors.
I woke yesterday feeling sad and tired and I just didn't want to be out and about.

I babysit her 2 boys 2 days a week. I just had them over the weekend while they went away. Last weekend I babysat for my other dd her 2 children, then at nite I babysat my sons little one.

I am all grandkid out!!!
Is that wrong of me???

Sometimes I think they think since I don't work.................

Sorry, I am just ranting here........

I miss Mom.
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{{{Dear Patty}}}

I know how you feel... I miss Dad so much too. I remember so well when you were going through the last days with your mother. Your love for her shone through and still does.

You certainly have your hands full with grandbabies. Two boys can be a handful... Then when you do for one - the other's expect the same! It is not wrong of you to be "grandkidded" out. It is inevitable...

When was the last time you had a getaway? It might be time... Start planning a short weekend trip with DH if you can. There is nothing better than being somewhere where nobody can find you. I personally like long train trips (without the cell phone). It is kind of like being lost for a while. Plus it is great to see the sights.

You are a wonderful grandmother, mother and person. You deserve to think of yourself first and foremost. Remember to say no if need be. I can count the days that my mother took care of her grandchildren on one hand. She was great at saying no. When I was young, that was the first word out of her mouth before I could even open mine. Needless to say, I could never care for her and never had the closeness with her that you had with your mother. No wonder you miss her so...

Love and Hugs from Glenda
Glenda, thanks so much.
Dh and I are going away but not until the middle of May.....sounds so long from now....we are going back to Aruba for 7 days to celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary.

I am so excited about this and at the same time....not. I am sure you know what I mean.
It seems as if you can go along for weeks and everything is fine.....then, hits you all over again.

I'm not sure if we can swing it but I'd like to go away for just a short weekend. Just to revive again. we'll see.

Take care Glenda and God Bless.....
Hi Patty,

You have been so kind and compassionate with everyone on the boards. You have put your pain aside and responded to me when I cried out for understanding. You have one of the most beautiful hearts and soul of anyone I have ever had the honor of knowing. To have had the loving relationship with your mother is such a gift. How I envy and admire you.

Being a grandma isn't easy under any circumstances. They have so much energy! Sometimes, it feels as if we've run the Tricathalon in just a matter of minutes! And, sometimes we feel guilty for saying "No" to our children when it comes to watching the babies. We don't want our children to be unhappy under any circumstances. I also think that we've been indroctinated to beleive that perhaps we should not say No ... that somehow that will cause some kind of trauma. Grandmas should somehow be perfect.

Patty, it's okay to say "NO" to your children. You had to say that to them when they were small for their own welfare. Now, you can say that to them for YOUR welfare. And, Angel, it doesn't matter if you work outside the home or not ... YOU matter.

I know you love your grandkids just as I love mine. I would die for them and so would you. I also know your children really are trying to help you keep busy and to heal. But, as Glenda said, grief has no time frames. And Dog-gone-it, a person cannot be forced through the process. The young seem to have an smoother time getting back up on their feet, and we love them for their efforts!

I do work full-time, and I take care of my daughter's 2 kids once, sometimes twice a week while she goes to school. There is seldom a week that goes by that I don't have either her kids or my son's kids. I also take care of my mom who lives with us. So, I guess you could say I have several full-time jobs! But, please don't feel guilty because you don't have an outside job or that you "should" have plenty of time of your hands! You have been a fulltime caregiver for someone, your mom, who you loved with all of your heart and soul. A caregiver's paycheck amounts to days and nights of tender loving care. Your love is priceless. I don't have the relationship with my mom that you were so fortunate to have with yours.

My point is, I have learned to say "NO." Please try! You don't have to have a "legitimate" reason such as being sick or you have an appointment. It's okay to just need some "YOU" time alone. There are times when we receive the greatest solace when we have our "alone" times ... when we connect with ourselves. And, I think, the more we work through the pain of loss, the more alone time we may need until we can smile again. Take your time.

Float a balloon in the sky on Easter. I'll betcha Mom will grab it!



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