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As the end gets closer I want to spend every moment at home because I don't know which 4 hours he will be awake. But I know that it isn't good for me either. I find myself jumping every time I hear him talking or groaning. I am listening for his breathing. So, I figured it would be good to get away for a couple of hours.

My car is due for an oil change so on Thursday while Julie is in school, I will drop it off at the service department, daughter and I will get a massage, then pick up my car and come home. No sense sitting in the smelly service center. Might as well enjoy that time and get pampered. Since daughter treated me last time, I will treat her (after all she is the one rescuing me from that dirty garage) It will also give daughter and I some time together away from the care giving. Hospice is sending a volunteer to sit with Wayne.

Grandmother deserve a massage once a month.
Hey Sue....are you a grandmother YET?
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Oh Lou, it's so good to hear from you... I am sitting here thinking how it was a Monday evening.. I had tickets for an ice skating show at madison square garden and it was actually four nights before dad passed.. he said to me... angel you have had these tickets for a year. I know what the show means for you and how it lifts your spirits so you better go... I promise to be here when you return.. I went not knowing whether or not he would be there and taxied over as soon as it was over to find him smiling and overjoyed that I did something for me.. so you go grandma... and have a good day... please keep us posted.. Sue and I were wonderin what happened.. blessings to you all
Massage was great! We went to a different place than last time. This one was off the road a bit out in the countryside rather than the city. A fireplace in the waiting area, which we didn't have to wait but after having our massages we were offered tea and could sit in that area or the back porch. Since it was a beautiful day, we decided to go on the porch. The porch sits about 50 yards from the river and it was a great way to end to experience. The therapists didn't have an appointment for another 30 minutes so they came out with us. We talked about what we liked best, what we would have liked more attention to. My daughter has a job where she stands on a concrete floor in one area for several hours and her ankles bother her. They suggested some point and flex exercises for her to do before she gets out of bed in the morning.

I didn't have as much tension and stress in my body this month. I expecially liked the facial massage. The first time I had that part and it was very soothing, relaxing, and calming.

My daughter and I have decided that this is something we are going to do every month. Not only do we feel better physically but mentally we feel we can take on the world.
It is also a great mother/daughter time.

Hi Lou & Gail.

Lou, so nice to hear you and your daughter were able to spend such a wonderful experience together. That monthly idea sounds terrifc. No, no baby yet. My poor daughter, Amy, is about to bust. She understands that if it occurs during work hours, I cannot leave (unless it is 4PM or later). We have two people out with stomach flu. In additino, all the time I have to miss at work due to my father. BUT, she also knows that first babies don't generally come that fast, soooo, hopefully I can get there after work (I have additional food in the fridge for my Dad in case that happens and I will call him). Lou, I think about you and Wayne daily. Is Wayne heavily medicated now? Gail, how is your mother doing?
Hugs, Sue.
Lou, this is wonderful news.. to be able to share with your daughter as you are is very very special.. I know that both of you appreciate the relationship as well... when so many mothers and daughters are in such conflict.

I felt as if I was sitting with you on the porch soaking in the energies.. it also feeds your souls.. so don't stop it...take care

Hi Sue,

I can't believe it is almost six weeks since you told us Amy was due. I pray it will all flow together perfectly and that you will be present to support and assist her.

Have you checked in with Faith in Action. I think you are about to meet with the nurse.. want to hear what happens.. also have you taken some time to check more into hospice...

my mom is waiting for a bed to open in the new facility.. everyone is so excited for her as the facility is a very special place...nurturing and very service minded.

keep us posted... take care angel...g glad that things are finally getting all aligned for your mom. What a relief for both of you. I loved the bit about falling on the bed and laughing. I think we all need to let go and do that with the ones we love.

Steph and I decided that we are going to keep doing the massages even if things seem to be going well. I don't know why I didn't do this years ago! It is cheaper than the doctor's visits...I mean, a whole hour for $50? LOL

Sue....Wayne isn't heavily medicated. He isn't taking the big morphine but is taking the little morphine. He likes the little ones better. He feels he has more control and I guess if I was coming to the end I would want as much control as I could have too. He says he's been in pain for the past three years and the little one takes the edge off and that is all he wants. As his nurse says...your wish is my command as long as it isn't gonna put me in jail.

Hi Lou and Gail.

Thanks for the kind words Gail. Me too. Anytime now. I know, I loved the part too about you and your mom falling on the bed giggling.

Lou, I understand. I believe I would want full control too. Wayne is so strong too.
You are right, you cannot beat $50 for a full hour. It made me think of all of the things I do not do for myself and wonder why? It's almost self-destructive behavior. Very complex. Afraid of true happiness. I am so happy that you and your daughter have one another. I am sure Wayne is too.
Hugs, Sue

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