I was here briefly on this board a year ago, grappling with the decision to move my dad into a nursing home. I'm 29 and my mom passed away, leaving my dad,79 with mid-late stage alzheimers. One year later I realize I made the right decision, and grateful to the kind people who were supportive. He has been on a roller coaster with his health, we almost lost him in July, but has now settled into life at the home. I do have a few questions for others in a similar position.
1. My dad is very active, he can't be allowed to walk because of the risk of falls. We put him in a wheelchair that he continually tips over.. it has been suggested to put him in a tilt wheelchair so he can be immobilized when no one is there to supervise. Does this seem right, or will being immobile make his aggitation worse?
2. the nursing home newletter is requesting more volunteering from family members esp. during mealtimes. I have two kids (1 yr & 4 yrs) and feel like the other visitors (mostly spouses) look down on me since I'm not able to be there as much as I think is necessary, one went so far as to say "if it is important to you, you will MAKE time" I'm 1 of 8 children and the only one who visits my dad, I've asked for help, but as he became less able to carry on a conversation, the less they visit. How do get passed the guilt I'm feeling?
3. How often do any of you with family members in facilities visit esp. ones with AD?
My husband and I both work and I feel like I barely see him or my kids, and when I am home, I rush up to check on dad, and feel guilty for wasting what little time I have with my family. It is a constant tug of war and I'm exhausted.