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How can you cry your heart out one minute, and 10 minutes later be laughing with your children? It is a crazy world we caregivers live in.

Tell me how to de-stress, is there a way?

Tell me what you do to care for you? I have restricted my family from even thinking about coming and knocking on the bathroom door when I am in there. This is my only place of solice, sitting there, reading my Bible, praying, crying ... it is a very interesting place to do many things other than what it was designed to do. How did I get off on all that? ........

The point was ... the only place I can ever really decide how I "feel" is the bathroom. The only place I am ever alone is the bathroom. I am so thankful for modern plumbing so I can shower and rest myself in the bathroom! So ... that is what I do to "get away" ... what do you do?

I am anxious, so anxious, and I don't know how to de-stress. This morning I fell on my knees, in the bathroom, and bawled my heart out. I asked the dear Lord to cover us all with His grace. And I gave him all my children, friends, mom, inlaws ... and especially my husband. I gave Him permission to do whatever with us all. That is all I know to do.

The prayer seemed to pay off. You know how some prayers just kind of float around the room when you pray, and then others seem to just zoom all the way to the king of kings? Well, this one must have zoomed, although through tears and drippy nose it certainly didn't feel that way at the time. My hubby had such a good day. He even went out to eat with us tonight. Then afterwards he was willing to go to Wal-Mart ... that hasn't happened in months. He used one of those little scooter chairs to get around in. Our 8 yo son laughed at "Daddy" cause he kept running into the racks in the store. Forrest (my hubby) laughed with him. A month ago I never thought I'd see him smile again, much less laugh! Weird disease brain cancer!!!! It's been up down and all around for the past 19 months. Crazy!

Today was an extremely rare day, and such a treat! What, again I ask, do you do to de-stress? Please share.

I know I'm new here, but I already find myself checking several times a day to see what's goning on here. There's a sweet spirit in this place. Thank you for allowing me to take part in your lives, your pain, and your joys.

God bless you all,
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Dear Joy:

We are so here for you... And you have already been here for many of us! You are a godsend. I loved to hear about your "good" day.

I do not think that I will ever go to Walmart again with the same attitude. Talk about a place that has the diversity of people. When I become impatient there again, I will think of you and Forrest shopping on a good day. Thank you so for sharing...

Love and Hugs from Glenda
Dear Joy (I love your name!),

If the bathroom is your sanctuary, then so be it. You might also want to find some physical outlet - exercise, walking, swimming, housework - to de-stress. Other than that, it sounds like you have found the best solution of all - faith.

I too, am so glad to hear you and Forrest and the kids had a good day. A couple of years ago would you have thought a simple evening out with the whole family could mean so much? I think that is one of the gifts we receive as care-givers. We appreciate all the little moments as special times to be cherished and remembered.

Thanks so much for sharing and joining us all as we journey together through this land-mine adventure.

Nice to meet you Barb. We went to Florida a few years ago, without the hubby. Hubby was working, pre-brain tumor. My mom and 3 of the kids went with me. Girl, we got lost in southern Alabama. I never thought I'd find my way out. LOL And mesquitos!!!!! Oh my gosh, they were the size of small birds (just kidding LOL) WE have mesquitos in Texas like that! But wow! So gorgeous! The foilage was so beautiful! And I guess I remember getting lost so well because it was twilight and I was afraid I'd never find my way to the main road at night ... but we made it through alright. The lovely people were so friendly they were able to direct me.

Thanks for the tip on exercise. I'm planning on joining the local gym in a couple of weeks when our 8 yo starts to school. Reading your words inspire and encourage me ... thank you!
Hello Joy,...

glad to hear you and Dick had a good day...

my bathtub with candles and aromatherapy and dead sea salts are a huge refuge for myself...

having healing massages, writing daily in a journal is carthartic... gets all the cah cah out and if you can continue writing past the ca cah, you can get some truly incredible insights, awareness and intutive guidance..

breathing deeply is great also... most of the time most of us don't breathe fully... oxygenating the system is vital to detressing...

as caregiver of many in the past this past year has been a year of reclaiming my own life... have taken up bicycle riding again, swimming with aerobic exercises 4 times a week and working out on dry land two times a week... as a caregiver for over 12 years and working at this computer as much as 18 hrs a day six and seven days a week between caregiving, creating and developing the site and organization, I became extremely sedentary for the past 6 yrs...we think in some ways we are taking care of ourselves.. and many a time, we want others to take care of us but absolutely nop on else can but our selves...

Dear Joy.

Sorry I missed your reply (Been popping back and forth between two 'puters LOL). Thanks for your kind words. I think it is so important for us to have "me time" everyday. Mine varies from being physically active to doing small projects to sitting and reading or just "vegging out."

And yes, we have a LOT of foilage around here. Have you heard of kudzu? It's an invasive vine that is very prevalent in the south. We've had a bumper crop the past couple of years.

So much of the country is in drought and extra warm weather. At least the mosquitos have not been very bad this year so far, nor the flies. But we've had a lot of rain this past week, so they may put in an appearance yet.

Hope you are having a wonderful day.

[This message has been edited by bamagirl (edited 08-06-2006).]

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