I consider myself part of the sandwich generation - not because of my age, but because of my circumstances. My husband and I are in our late 20's. We have 2 children who are only 17 months apart - the youngest being only 7 months right now. My father-in-law lives with us - he is 81. He is quite a challenge to live with. I cook and clean for him, and also do his financial papers (pay bills, organize papers - he's in a lot of debt that we only recently became aware of). Since we've lived here (3 years) he's become increasingly dependent and we've watched him deteriorate mentally. He still drives (which is very scary), but he isn't able to fix food for himself and usually needs reminding to change his clothes and to shower. He is a very unpleasant person - very negative and bitter - especially toward the government. He's had 3 failed marriages also which obviously adds to his bitterness. I am a stay at home mom, which provides me with much contact with him during the day. He drives me nuts - most everything he says is negative and he rarely seems to listen to me. He is incapable of helping out with the children. I am just stressed out. It's hard living with someone who you are expected to do so much for when you really don't have any real feelings of love for them. - I love him only in the way that I am concerned for his wellbeing because he is my husband's father and my children's grandfather.
I can't talk to any of my family or my husbands family about my challenges I face in this situation, because they just can't understand. No one seems to realize how much this man's condition has deteriorated and that he needs a lot of looking after. I wish that I could find someone in a similar situation.