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Hi everyone,

I just bought Hugh Marriot's book "The Selfish Pigs Guide to Caring"

I got it yesterday and haven't stopped reading, I'm half way through already. Everything in it is so TRUE, like the book was just for me. I'm sure every caregiver would feel the same. It's frank, blunt, and airs out all the things that guiltily (not a word I'm sure) we would never dream to.

A salute to Hugh Marriot.

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Thanks for your replies

Okay, one of things that really opened my eyes was saying out loud WHY I care for my mom. Some of reasons Hugh explores is
Expectations of others
and if you really don't know.

Getting that clear in my head, what my actual motives and reasons are made them easier to articulate. Understanding the emotions connected to them became easier too.

Also, owning what you do and being proud of it. If there is no box on a form that has caregiver as a legitimate occupation, then draw one. When someone asks you what you do, say you're a caregiver and be proud of it.

Another big thing, most caregivers are (a little bit ) crazy because of what we have to do, every single day. It was good to finally know that!

A really important one, which I know is repeated here on the boards all the time is that we have to take care of ourselves so that we can take care of our caregivee. He explores this and suggests options at our disposal. Sometimes we have to demand help if it is not forthcoming, because we HAVE TO get a regular break, or we'll have a nervous breakdown. Just like professionals who get paid leave and such, so should we make time to have break. We're professionals too, we save lives.

The main object of the book is to show us to be MORE selfish than we are. To be Selfish Pigs. I know that sounds terrible but in fact its exactly what caregivers need to hear. We are the most unselfish people ever in my opinion, so we do need to take a stand for our own well being, and by extention for the well being of the one we are taking care of.

Take care.

Thanks for the info.
I am fortunate that most of my family and friends �get it�. Unfortunately most people that have not been care givers don�t. This book could be a good teaching tool. I am going to get some copies and send them to our state and federal legislators. If we can get them to understand just a little of what care givers go through, just maybe they will figure out a way to help the care givers that really need it.
This is a good topic for care givers to talk about.
May you find peace and happiness in your life.
To help in finding the book.

I bought it through the publishers in the UK. Polperro Press.
Polperro Heritage Press
+44 (0)18868 12304

It isn't released in South Africa, and I didn't want to wait until it was, so I went ahead and imported it. (A bit expensive having to pay GBP, but it 100% worth it)


this is a great book and quite funny... the author has an article posted here at the site and he also sent the organization xome copies of the book... not many... I would be happy to mail it to any one who emails us your name, address city and zip will be needed... you must be in the US.



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