Hi,
Thanks for your replies
Okay, one of things that really opened my eyes was saying out loud WHY I care for my mom. Some of reasons Hugh explores is
Love
Money
Guilt
Obligation
Expectations of others
Relatives
Religion
and if you really don't know.
Getting that clear in my head, what my actual motives and reasons are made them easier to articulate. Understanding the emotions connected to them became easier too.
Also, owning what you do and being proud of it. If there is no box on a form that has caregiver as a legitimate occupation, then draw one. When someone asks you what you do, say you're a caregiver and be proud of it.
Another big thing, most caregivers are (a little bit
) crazy because of what we have to do, every single day. It was good to finally know that!
A really important one, which I know is repeated here on the boards all the time is that we have to take care of ourselves so that we can take care of our caregivee. He explores this and suggests options at our disposal. Sometimes we have to demand help if it is not forthcoming, because we HAVE TO get a regular break, or we'll have a nervous breakdown. Just like professionals who get paid leave and such, so should we make time to have break. We're professionals too, we save lives.
The main object of the book is to show us to be MORE selfish than we are. To be Selfish Pigs. I know that sounds terrible but in fact its exactly what caregivers need to hear. We are the most unselfish people ever in my opinion, so we do need to take a stand for our own well being, and by extention for the well being of the one we are taking care of.
Take care.
Asiza
