I'm feeling a little sad and scared today. I'm sad to see how little life energy my mother has left in her. She was once such a vibrant, powerful, energetic, and strong-willed person. She's just going through the motions these days. She doesn't want to go for a walk (with me pushing her wheelchair) through the neighborhood. She says things like she doesn't want to go to the bedroom to put on her make-up because she doesn't want to see herself in the mirror. None of her "friends" come to visit or call. She's lonely and sad. I can't help, but get a bit of the blues from being with her so much, lately. I am saddened to see that no one comes to visit or even cares. . . How did she get to this place of being left for dead?
The scared part is because a new home health agency came to do the intake paperwork for Mom's home health aides to begin coming each day. I'm concerned they will be just like the psychos that we have had in the past. How do I let go of this fear and just have faith? How do I not let the past taint the present tense? Will this agency let us down, too? Will the new home health aide(s) be abusive and inconsistent? Will I receive neurotic and psychotic phone calls in a few weeks because the caregiver(s) are providing shoddy care? Will this be my existence and thinking patterns for the rest of the time I am helping my parents?
Oh my ~ I'm just a little scared of the changes coming. I can't keep doing what I am doing and make any progress with my own responsibilities. So, I know change is necessary, but I have absolutely no control over what is about to happen. I suppose I just stay in close contact and provide abundant information and supervision to the caregivers.
Is there anything I can do to alleviate the loneliness that my parents feel?
Does anyone have experience with helping a family member (or in my case two) who is affected by mental illness, dementia, or depression? This is a family disease and I must admit that today I am feeling some of the symptoms of the family illness. We are all carrying a part of this problem with us. There is a reason why my brother no longer calls or visits. He's trying to stay away from the mental illness, too. Sadly, I don't think he's immune just because he doesn't come around. . .
Someone please let me know what I can do with this ball of pain I have today. My parents need a lot of help and I am only one person. What do I do?