I think this may be a good description of how I am feeling these days. With all the hoopla of the holidays, caregiving, illnesses, jobs, and responsibilites, I believe I have finally come to a major breakthrough inside my soul. I am feeling more peaceful, by where I can now begin to enjoy and embrace my life, rather than the daily sadness, and whining about things that are truly not important.
As this year comes to an end, my guilt, and playing the victim have also. I am finally realizing that my life had been consumed by not only being a caregiver, but the never ending drama, and illneses of my parents and siblings. That the most important person who needed the nurturing and was neglected, was ME. I have chosen to let go of the past, and embrace my future. I will no longer be a prisoner with negative emotions. Lugging this weight around had consumed my life. I have always, and I truly believe I have, done the right thing for my parents, and with my siblings, and gone over and beyond my call of sisterhood, and daughterhood. I have chosen to *pull the weeds from my rose garden* Although I believe I am a forgiving person, nothing can make me forget the pain I have been put through. I allowed it, but not anymore. As I read everyone's posts, how so many have lost loved ones, and those going through difficult journeys, you each have truly inspired and empowered me to reason with the facts of what really is important in life. WE are. We are the ones that deserve to be nurtured, not only to ourselves, but by others. I wish I could find better words to express how this peacefulness and calmness has changed my life.
I hope to be able to assist in helping you all find a Revelation, or some Resolution in your life. It is hard work, but for sure an empowering experience.
Hugs to All Angels,
[This message has been edited by angel437 (edited 11-28-2004).]