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I think this may be a good description of how I am feeling these days. With all the hoopla of the holidays, caregiving, illnesses, jobs, and responsibilites, I believe I have finally come to a major breakthrough inside my soul. I am feeling more peaceful, by where I can now begin to enjoy and embrace my life, rather than the daily sadness, and whining about things that are truly not important.
As this year comes to an end, my guilt, and playing the victim have also. I am finally realizing that my life had been consumed by not only being a caregiver, but the never ending drama, and illneses of my parents and siblings. That the most important person who needed the nurturing and was neglected, was ME. I have chosen to let go of the past, and embrace my future. I will no longer be a prisoner with negative emotions. Lugging this weight around had consumed my life. I have always, and I truly believe I have, done the right thing for my parents, and with my siblings, and gone over and beyond my call of sisterhood, and daughterhood. I have chosen to *pull the weeds from my rose garden* Although I believe I am a forgiving person, nothing can make me forget the pain I have been put through. I allowed it, but not anymore. As I read everyone's posts, how so many have lost loved ones, and those going through difficult journeys, you each have truly inspired and empowered me to reason with the facts of what really is important in life. WE are. We are the ones that deserve to be nurtured, not only to ourselves, but by others. I wish I could find better words to express how this peacefulness and calmness has changed my life.
I hope to be able to assist in helping you all find a Revelation, or some Resolution in your life. It is hard work, but for sure an empowering experience.

Hugs to All Angels,

[This message has been edited by angel437 (edited 11-28-2004).]
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I am really proud of you!

As you know, Wayne has taught me many lessons during the last four years. I keep reminding myself of them these past few days.
I find they are helping me tremendously.

He did not want anyone to feel sorry for him. No pity. He accepted and adjusted and lived each day. I keep remembering the day he told me that if he was going to fight to live that I had to let go of the anger and live, love and laugh with him. Now that he is not physically here with me anymore, I must continue to live, love and laugh. That is what life is about.

Choose your battles, pick out the priorities. As you do what you can for others, remember that YOU are ALIVE so LIVE! Take time to smell the roses, have a quiet time for yourself, take care of you, and learn to laugh again. Enjoy this time.
You deserve it and you are allowed.

Love and Hugs

Thank you Lou, you have taught me so much about those exact words. You are so inspiring, and live what you have learned. Wayne's life and his passing has truly guided and empowered you, and many of us, to remember what is truly important, living.
I have you and your family in my prayers Lou, and sending you much love and a huge cyber hug.
Bless you Angel,
Hi Robin:

I am so glad to hear that from you. It's that old-man-time that makes us come to the correct resolutions. You have your own family and yourself. No matter what you do now is not going to stop the future from happening. You can't cause it or prevent it.
Your family has made decisions that seem to fluctuate according to our past conversations. With that said, I honestly do not think things will stay the way they are. If so, you remember, as do I, all that you have done for your father. I can see that in your Spotlight picture. All that you have sacrificed. You have earned your wings.
Hi everyone...

Lou..I am so sorry about Wayne...I'd been away so long from the boards I'd not realized he'd passed...You have my deepest condolences...

Angel...Glad to hear you are finally doing for you...seems that happens a lot with's such an emotional rollercoaster for so long..and finally one day you just have a "reawakening" and rather than spend each day bunched up in want to enjoy as much of life as you possibly can...and in this realization a sort of balancing act comes upon you..and surprisingly you find you can be happy, have fun...yet never neglect your loved ones...

take care everyone...

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