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I am starting to check out giving up my rights as an Agent with my Dad's POA. My only connection to him is emotionally. His is a durable one with 3 siblings having all rights to end of life, financial, healthcare and all in one really. As my brothers will not talk to me or communicate with me and I the primary caregiver. I don't want any money connected to his estate, just peace. I have been burned with my life messed up by my sister, my in-laws, my mom, and now my Dad has no idea his sons don't want any part of him. Can I legally decline to be an Agent as his POA requires all 3 of us to make all the decisions ---- how in the world can we do this if no one talks to each other, and I'm drained trying to do what is right. Dad thinks all of his children love him, and no - he taught us what we know --- I just had more heart to do what is right.
Any feedback --- I know the end of life issue "could" be tough --- and I know probate will have to be handled by an attorney, not me. Any feedback. Just can't have my life with my husband messed up another time. Already lost "all" to include, home, financies, "all" to pull out and start over at the age of 53. 59 now! Any advice! Thanks! Love you guys!
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You do have the right to withdraw yourself as an agent for the POA. It would entail drawing up a new POA with the designated persons who would be the agents, then having it signed by your father and witnesses in front of a notary public.

Before you do something like that Vick, consider this.

What if your other siblings should fall ill or die. What if your father's health declines to a point where he cannot make a reasonable decision and your siblings decide to "take over" and really mismanage everything. Are you willing to let that happen? Should your father get to a stage where he could no longer sign legal documents and you are no longer in a position to make your voice heard, you would be in a real jam.

Take time to think about this. Talk to your father about it. Ask him what he wants. After all, the biggest decision about all of this would be affecting his life more than anyone else's.

Good luck. It's a difficult decision to make. I feel for you, kiddo. Really.

Yes, it states his name and then list my name, my youngest brother, and my oldest brother as Agents (note this is plural) to exercise "jointly" in making decisions re:
healthcare and it seems to have more in it and made me sickly to read any further. He seems to understand it differently than I and I have researched that all Agents should be informed and given a copy of this. I wonder even if I resign if it is even void. I will be talking to his atty (who is an elder-care atty) as soon as I can get an appt. Thanks --- I knew sooner or later I'd have a question for you. This is so tough for me as my life, my marriage, and I hope not my health has been torn apart twice before. This time I have my husband who is my rock to stand beside me. He has me as Personal Rep in the will an the son who won't talk to him for years as Alternate. My Dad doesn't know how his sons feel about him. He thinks they love him. I just can't take this on and be in the middle of their relationships when I have healed and love him in spite of his ways and emotionally uninvolved parent. Any more advice I'd appreciate. I wonder if this lawyer hasn't just took advantage of him right after my Mom passed on. Thanks. Having a bad night trying to sleep. Got the best of me after all I have done to be here, leave my home again and my husband meet here an there to hold us together. May have to make some changes --- just trying to gather some info and hopefully put it in front of him. I doubt he will listen or talk. He never has. Thanks --- I do hope life is going ok for you ----- on and on about me and I hope you have had a good Xmas and a bright New Year is in your future! Vickie
Hello Vick,

I know it is difficult to talk with your father about anything. I encourage you to take a deep breath, sit down and explain how you are feeling about all of this and what the options are.. Tell him you can accept his lack of communication in most areas but not in this and that you deserve a responsible response from him.. you won't know unless you sit down and speak to him... see him responding before you go in to actually speak with him

Dear Vickie:

Gail is so right. My father lost his word finding abilities after his stroke in 2002. There were so many questions that I had for him which he was never able to answer for the past four years. I was so sorry I didn't have the serious discussions before it was too late. You just never expect what kind of damage can happen during the moments of a mini-stroke.

Anyhow, this makes me cry all over again. I still miss Dad so. All I can say is don't put it off and you will feel much better. Have a warm and wonderful New Year.

Love and Hugs from Glenda

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