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Hello,well i am still going to travel and see the world,my home is on the market,i have a room with a friend,my family have been calling every other day,giving me up dates on my mother,also trying to pull me back in,they are now experiencing what i was experiencing and why i needed help,well until you have walked in my shoesthey could not understand,well now they are wearing my shoes,i tried to inform them that my Mother's conditions will get worst before it get's better,my plan had they not turned on me will be implemented at this time,where she would 24/7 care,and it would not have been on one person,i really feel,she will end up in a nursing home,my plan involved her being in her own home and being cared for there,i had programs in place for this time,it saddens me to know her out come will not be one of honor and compassion,i've done my part for 10+ years,my time is over,time for my life,she has choosen her's and how it will look like,now i am creating mines and it does not include taking care of my MOTHER any more,what i wanted for her,she did not want for herself.I AM FREE OF ALL GUILT AND RESPONSIBILITY,I WAS THE BEST PERSON THAT I WAS ALLOWED TO BE.SO TO ALL BE BLESSED.
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Hi Babyboomer:

Thank you for posting this and sharing with us here. Good for you! You are so right in what you say - caregiving should not be on the shoulders of only one person. You gave your dear mother over ten years of your life with her best interests at heart. Let the phone ring when the family members call...

I have to share that my eldest sister and BIL just left after a week visiting our father. My brother was also here during that week. I was just amazed out how they managed to slip out without providing any true help or support. They are good for another year now - lol (or so they think). I have my plans to disrupt their peace of mind... I am just biding my time to think through what is best for all concerned.

I was talking with a friend the other day about family dynamics. He said that family dynamics never change... I thought that is likely true (especially after this visit from my siblings). I have been mulling on this quite a bit actually. What does it take to change the status quo? And, more important, what will be the likely impact?

Anyhow, congrats to you babyboomer. It looks like you have done just that! At least you have made plans to enjoy your life now. May you be blessed with the best of adventures... You should be free and proud of all you have done!!! Whenever you think of your caregiving days during your travels, think of us and keep us posted...

Love and Hugs from Glenda
Aloha Babyboomer,

Strength and courage. You have shown them both. In taking care of your mother for all those years and in passing on the torch to the rest of the family.

Sounds like you're ready to see the world and I bet the world is just waiting to welcome you ! New times and new friends.
The best of luck to you.

If you ever stop over on The Big Island of Hawaii on your way someplace drop me a line and I'll get the guest room ready !

Judi

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