hi everyone. i'm new to this site and am VERY glad i found it! took some googleing this morning but its look like i found what i need. my mother moved up from florida to live with us in delaware about one month ago. i've always known this could eventually happen, just wasnt as prepared emotionally as i thought i was. she is 83. my father passed away 5 years ago. she is not that bad off however she does have a few health issues. she had copd, glaucoma, diabetes, (luckily though its not out of control) and dementia. i am married and have 4 children, two of which are in high school and still live at home. my family is very supportive, especially my husband. my two girls still at home get a little annoyed, but they are teenagers and are just generally annoyed about everything! i have two brothers who still live in florida. i am the youngest and only daughter. she wasn't taking care of herself properly and had her medications all messed up. we've been to every dr we need to go to and have her medications straightened out now. she wasn't eating properly either, mostly krispy kreme doughnuts and banquet dinners and other assorted candy inbetween. now she eats regular meals and i limit the amount of candy and sweets in my house. she is able to drive a little and has gone into town and picked up some bags of candy. then she hides it in her room. i guess my biggest problem right now is just dealing with the disruption of my life. i love my mother and could not put her in a home but sometimes i really resent this disruption. then of course i feel guilty because after all she did sacrifice 18 years of her life to raise me. she was a good mother too. i pretty much feel like a selfish piece of s***. i've had to spend so much time going from dr. to dr., telling her for the 100th time that as soon as her social security check is deposited into her account here we can close the account in fla., showing her again and again how to properly use her inhaler and police her diet that im emotionally drained. and i feel bad for the sacrifices my husband and children are making, although like i said they really don't complain. anyway i do have a few questions about her health. i read someone talk about end stage copd. what is that and how do you know what "stage" they are in? will dementia cause her to sensitive and emotional? i can deal with the forgetfullness but yesterday she totally threw me for a loop. when she saw her primary care dr a few weeks ago he didn't see anything in the records she broght from fla about a mammogram. he asked her if she had one recently. she said i don't know if ive ever had one. i do remember her talking about them in years past so i knew she had had one at some point. so he scheduled one. yesterday we go to the hospital to have it done. she goes back, nervously i might add since they told her i couldn't go because of the exposure to radiation. the nurse comes out and tells me my mother is telling her she just had one done. they ask where it could of been done and they call that hospital. they have no record of her having a mammogram. so i say go ahead with it. on the way home as were discussing that she miraculously remembers her fla. dr's phone number and i call them. yep, she had one in july. i said i don't understand why you told the dr. you never had one but remember now that you did. this was an expensive memory loss. i didn't say it unkindly, but i was frustrated. when we got home my husband asked her how things went. she said well i got chewed up one side and down another! i was shocked! i asked her who chewed her out? she said, you did. then she preceded to cry and say i'm tired of getting chewed out about every little thing! i was speechless. my husband and children NEVER say an unkind word to her. i was very upset and had to leave the house for awhile. i did ask her what she meant but said she couldn't remember what i had chewed her out about. i honestly have not chewed her out about anything. it's only one month. how am i going to get through this? sorry it's such a long tirade, but it does feel good to vent to someone who probably understands. thanks
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