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Hi I post here pretty often lately, seems like always a new prob of some kind. I take care of my mom age 78 with copd,chf,alzheimers and more. The last couple of days she has been having anger outbursts. I understand the anger but really don't know why she just started showing it. She lives with us and I can deal with it when its aimed at me but now its starting to be aimed at one of my kids, ages 17 and 16. Mom don't hit them just makes threats and tells them she hates them. This is tearing me apart as i want to be there for mom but i am GONNA be there for the kids and they can only ignore so much. I'm in turmoil right now. I know this will pass but i need ideas on how to cope til it does. And how do i help my kids cope. Thanks in advance for your help. Jeannie
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Jeannie..when someone is old and sick as your mother... and when they have begun a considerable deterioration towards the end of life, there are stages that they go through. Elizabeth Kubler Ross says the first two stages in this order are "denial" and "anger"... then it moves into I believe discussion and acceptance...so this may be what your mom is experiencing.. there can be such a sense of hopelessness as they first begin getting their diagnosis's which aren't promising.

Again, check with this wonderful social worker once again.. maybe she can meet with your mother privately to help her to express herself and discuss the feelings she might be having.. and then again, you, the kids, hubby and mom may need to sit and have a non attacking loving meeting of communication with her to share and show your compassion and empathy for what she might be experiencing...

I also think you might have mentioned she ws also diagnosed recently with Alzheimer's so you might want to check and see if it is a reaction to meds or if she is needing meds and if this indeed is a symptom of her illness.. hope this helps
Gail
Just a quick update.Things have been happening so quick i'm not sure where to start,but she is learning to channel this anger better using it to fight this thing rather than lash out at us. At the same time we are learning to ignore more of her outbursts. Her wheelchair and vibrating vest should get here soon so that too will help a lotby giving her a little moe freedom.Boy this is sure a roller coaster ride for both her and us but we will get thru this. Thanks for your love and support. I will keep you updated . Thanks again Jeannie
Hello Jeanette..

glad to hear your mother is able to structure her anger into a positive mode... unfortunately, as you truly know, so much of caregiving is an up and down roller coaster.. however it helps to keep ourselves calm and balanced so we, ourselves can cope better with it all... please keep us posted.. blessings..take care

Gail

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