My husband's mother died of complications of pic's disease (sic), a form of Alzheimer's. My husband is now 70, and sometimes exhibits some of the symptoms she did. I find myself getting very frustrated when he forgets things. I started reminding him of everything, and now is angry that I "nag" him. I tried to talk to him about it, but he doesn't want to think about the possibility that it might be happening to him too. He just blames me for being on case all the time (which I really am not - I think he is frightened when these memory lapses happen). I am thinking about calling his doctor - can anyone who has gone through this tell me what worked for them in getting your loved one diagnosed?
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Welcome... Interesting that you have chosen the username of Mrhappy instead of Mrsunhappy.. You have found a safe place to share your concerns. Any memory loss can be a frustrating experience especially when you have lost a loved one to the disease. Fears can build up within that can escalate into something out of nothing... and there is a strong possibility that he may actually be developing it as well.
Since it is difficult for you to converse with your husband about it, it might be good to speak with his doctor. Perhaps you could even both go for some counseling. If your mother in law passed recently, it might even be that your husband is still grieving and processing.
Whatever the case might be, it is important to research and get to the bottom of it. Perhaps you are reminding him too much which could even make him anxious and more forgetful. But not knowing your husband and what he is feeling, I would encourage you to seek advice from some form of professional. If it continues you might have to have your husband examined even if it is approached as an annual checkup with the doctor questioning him about different things that might assist him in making special tests and diagnosing.
In the event that your husband is moving towards some form of dementia, it will be important for you to read up as much as possible on his specific problem, the dynamics of conversing, medications etc. If he is, all the nagging in the world will not help. What will be important is that you learn to cope with it and understand it so that you can approach him more lovingly and with more understanding. For it won't be your husband that is doing it to upset you but a disease that is slowly taking over him.
I hope this helps... we are hear from you. Please keep us posted.
Thanks, Gail. I actually WAS able to talk to my husband about it, and we are going to talk it over with his doctor later this week. MrHappy is the name of our cat - everything else I tried for a username was already in use I really wasn't paying attention to WHY I was getting so frustrated with him. I do see now that what I was thinking was his inattention or not caring IS some kind of memory problem. His mom died about ten years ago. He admitted he was worried that his memory loss might be an indication that he is developing what she had. So, I am in a much better place than when I wrote the first intro above. Thanks for your help.
Hi MrHappy’s Mom:
I imagine your DH feels better now too… He is so blessed to have you! Let us hope and pray that the doctor visit goes well and puts some fears to rest. I remember my mother, when she was in her later years and would forget something, she would look at me and say “some things you just have to forget!” She was sharp to the end TG! My father was another story however. It can be so hard...
Anyhow, good thing what you are doing for your DH. It can be such a challenge with these forms of dementia. It is so courageous that you are on top of this. We are here for you – keep us posted if you will. Meanwhile, keep the faith and blessings to you both.
Love and Hugs, Glenda
Hi Mrhappy's mom.
I am so pleased to hear that you and your husband were finally able to discuss the situation. It must be such a tremendous relief for both of you. I can only imagine how it might have been for him holding it in all this time.
Communication is so vital and establishing it now will enable both of you to act as a team to advocate on his behalf while he is able to. There are so many new medications coming out regularly that are able to slow the processes down and there are a great many alternative methods that are opening up.
Please keep us posted as to your progress.