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I am sure many of you have read about my husband and myself in these boards. His care has been a challenge that has kept my life busy and full.

I lost Louis yesterday. Conjestive heart failure had just taken away his strength to live. Nonetheless, I know I can reach him through Christ's Spirit in me. And I can look forward to seeing him soon in that place where Christ said he was preparing a place for us.

At the moment, I am still numb. Just trying to do all the things necessary so that family and friends can say "Goodbye" for now.
Louis had a place in many lives and that place will be empty until we go to join him.

Thank you all on this message board for having heard my comments and for the advice I have had while caring for my husband.

God bless you all. And, this time, I am asking that God will give me the wisdom, strength, and courage to get through 2003 without Louis.

Nina
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Nina, we have been chatting for years in Gail's chats and one on one. My hear and soul are with you and my prayers are with you also. I am so sorry you had to loose Louis at this time but as you say you will join him when your time comes but hope your time is not for awhile. Enjoy your daughter and SIL and grandchildren and of course the puppies. Let me know if I can help in any way or if you just want to chat, vent, cry, or whatever - I'm here for you.
Love you lots my friend,
Karen
Hello Nina,

As you know, I too, am very sad to hear of your loss.. I know you know that thee were many a time before when you thought you were going to lose Louis and that he was living on borrowed time.

I really believe that Louis gathered the strength to make the move to be with your family... your daughter.. for them to have spent time together which was so important and such a blessing.

Nina, you are a very strong woman and one of the most God Loving individuals I have ever known. God will guide and comfort you through this time of healing. I pray that your journey will be easy and effortless.

You were such a gifted, loving caregiver to Louis. He was so fortunate to have you... and I know how blessed you were to have been with him. The love you shared was very special....

richest blessings...we are all here for you

love & light
gail
Hello Everyone:
I continue to read these boards. Thank you all for posting.
It has been a month now since I lost my husband. My life is sooooo very different. You may remember my mentioning morning and evening schedules caring for my husband. I started a week or so ago trying to build new schedules but somehow I just can't get motivated. Of course, I don't have nearly as much to do. Living with my daughter was a wonderful help when I was caring for my husband but now I share the work of day to day living with her so I do not have many responsibilities. Perhaps it is just as well. I can't seem to find the motivation to do the things that are my responsibility.
Of course, there are all the financial matters that I am still dealing with. I am going to take a trip next week. I think it will help to get out.
Thank you all again for all your help and caring when I was a caregiver and at the time of my loss.
Sincerely, Nina
{{{{{Nina}}}}}}

I can't believe it's already a month.. it's so understandable to read about what you are feeling...we get so driven and caught up in the role of caregiving with its up's and down's.. the fears that we are losing our loved one in any given moment and then they rally again... so when their transition is final from this plane, we grieve on an entirely different level.. I know you know in your heart that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. There is only what you are feeling and experiencing from moment to moment.

It is almost like an anticlimatic feeling when one is no longer the caregiver... the scheduling and the routine exists no more.. and in time, with grace and guidance we move more back into our own essence and let ourselves unfold into the next chapter... or sometimes I like to think of it the blossoming from our safe little cocoon ...

You are in my thoughts and prayers Nina. May God guide you, give you strength and assist you in having your healing be gentle and nurturing.

Richest blessings
Gail
Hi Nina...

I agree with Gail...have to take the grief and healing at your own speed, one day at a time..it can be a long, slow process...with many ups and downs...
I know all our loved ones whom we cared for and who have passed on to a better place want for us to go on, and be happy...that's what has always gotten me through the loss of my mother plus the fact that she so much appreciated the care I gave her and the extra closeness that came out of it...
Please take care...
P.G.

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