I haven't posted in quite a while, although I do read the posts from time to time, but here goes. After taking care of my MIL for a little over 2 yrs, I have neglected myself and now my own health is at risk. In April I was found to be anemic, a week later I was diagnosed borderline diabetic and just 2 days ago had a colonoscopy and a tumor was found. I will have to have surgery. The biopsy isn't back yet. I have lost about 12 lbs and eating better and exercising. Monday is my first visit with the surgeon. My sister says its all the stress from having to take care of my MIL. My father was a borderline diabetic but he was in his late 80's when he got it. He lived a good life to 91. I'm only 54. I was always healthy but the past 2 yrs I ate junk and didn't take care of myself. Sometimes I blame myself and sometimes I blame my MIL. She is actually doing pretty good, takes care of herown needs, I just give her the meds and her meals. Her short term memory is sporadic but her judgement is still bad. So I have ceased telling her what she shouldn't do and God knows SHE HATES TO BE TOLD WHAT SHE CAN AND CAN'T DO. She still chatters away and I just ignore her and put in a yes or no from time to time. She says she is "interested" but I think she is nosy, I even told her so, and my hubby and I have no privacy. I just picture my future as her caregiver forever. Putting her in a home is impossible, due to financial matters and other family members are not available. I found out today that her friends at church have been trying for a long time to get her out of the house to socialize with them! Sometimes I think she stays at home just to torment me. I am just ranting and need to stop. My medical situation has left me in shock and it's hard just to think about it. My husband is my rock and an angel. So Jane, I remember your posts about caregivers and what can happen to them. So to all, take care of yourself!