It's been quite a while since I posted anything on the website. For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to come here after my husband died October 9th of Glioblastoma multiforme. The closer Christmas gets, the harder it is for me to deal with. It was our favorite time of year and thank God I have a wonderful son and daughter-in-law to help me through it as well as the love of my little 15 month old grandson. I'd never make it through it with my sanity if I didn't have the support of my family and friends. I keep busy as possible, but you still have to go to bed sometime and that's when I'm faced with the reality that this is how it is. I'm without my husband. The love of my life. My best friend. I've cried myself to sleep more times than I can count. I put on the "happy face" as much as I can in order to help make the holidays a happy one and I know nobody expects me to be happy all the time. But still, I love them too much to make them sad along with me. We always open our gifts on Christmas Eve with only the lights from the Christmas tree and candles burning all through the room. Knowing he won't be sitting there opening gifts with us is tearing me apart. Just the thought of it now rips my heart wide open. How am I going to make it that night? His love will go on with me forever and I know he's here in spirit, but I don't know how I'll get through it without him. I'm so sorry this is long, but I just needed to let anyone know who's going through the same pain at this time of year, that you're not alone. Others like me are going through it too. You will be in my prayers and I hope you'll keep me in yours.
Johanna
Original Post
