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don't know if anyone can help me, but my husband was in a car accident about 6 years ago. He has tbi. In the first couple of years he got a lot better . for the first year he didn't even know my name. I never tried to get the power of attorney over him although i am the payee on his social security check. he spends his days going to a convenience store and sitting and having coffee with the locals. he is very quiet so i am not sure that anyone knows how bad he really is.when he does talk about things, it is usually things he hears from other people. In the past few months he has become really way out there. he has started getting checks and spending money out of his account $20 at a time. it has gotten so out of control that i am paying for everything and he is spending all of his social security check and insurance check on who knows what. i work very hard in my own business and i pay all of the bills and take care of everything. my daughter and i confronted him and told him that he cannot do that and he is only allowed a certain amount of money each week. he got very upset and told me he would do whatever he wants. he then went to an attorney and came back home and said he wants a new truck and if i say anything to him about money he will file for a divorce and this lawyer has told him they can sell my house and he can have the money from our home, my business and everything else we have together. texas is a community property state and when we married i sold my home and we kept his as a rent house and bought this one. i spent all of the money from the sale of my house for us to live on while we were in litigation and he now receives a nice check every month that i legally have no rights over. i guess i was so stupid that i never worried that he would do anything like this and when i have tried to reason with him and explain the situation he can't understand. all he knows is that he is buying a brand new truck with the money he gets from the house and he can move into our rent house. i have no idea who the attorney is but he told my husband not to worry about paying him until after my house is sold. i don't even know how such an idea came into his head and i told him that this attorney must be trying to do something to take advantage of him. he does not believe me. we have always gotten along and since the wreck it has never been like a marriage but I and my children have taken care of him and included him in everything we do. i thought he loved them and he has always been crazy about my grandchildren. he said he doesn't care if any of them are in his life as long as he gets the money that is his. he has gotten more and more obsessed and i don't know what to do. i am afraid to not give him what he wants because i am afraid he will hurt one of us. i don't know who to go to or what to do. in his condition he acts like he has no conscience. his frontal lobe is damaged and he can't even know the beginning of logic. i guess i always thought he would get back to the person he was and i thought he would be loyal to us since we have been there for him every day. he refuses to go to a doctor. my daughter says i should get power of attorney over him and maybe i could do something . but is there a way i can? who do i talk to? a doctor, lawyer, social security or what.why didn't i do this when he didn't know anything at all. i was so busy taking care of him i never thought about it. if you have any answers, please let me know.
Brenda Winstead
Groesbeck, Tx
Original Post
Brenda--What a horrible situation to find yourself in. There are many more knowledgeable on this board about things like this I'm sure, but I would definitely see a lawyer to begin with to find out exactly what your husband can and can't do in regard to your assets. It may be that your husband is exaggerating in order to scare you into complying with his wishes. I would also gather as many medical records and documents as you can that support the head injury and take them with you. If the Privacy Act becomes a problem a lawyer should have no problem acquiring them. If you are worried your husband might hurt you, definitely don't be confrontive with him. See a lawyer, get your options and then make decisions based on his advice. This will make you feel more in control of the situation and help ease some of your anxieties knowing your husband is not calling all the shots. Please be sure and keep your and your daughter's safety foremost at all times. I wish you well. Donna

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