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Thank God and Thank you for allowing me to get this out of my system. My dad is 79, lives with me, he has colen cancer (has the colos. bag) (5 Years free), diabetes & other health problems, etc. I have been his caregiver for 15 months since my mom passed. I have a brother who doesn't have time for my dad, (only people in his wife's family.) Today I decided to tell him how hard and overwhelming this is for me without any help because today i had to leave work and rush my dad to emergency room and he was admitted because he passed out at the Senior Community Center I send him to every day. These phone call are a little frightening, even at night when my dad fell out the bed last week, and last month i had to call 911 because he had problem breathing, another emergeny trip. (he has a phone in him room to call me if needed) I just wanted my brother to know the stress i am feeling and i need his help, WELL, he told me "I am getting as much help from him as I am going to get" (which is NO HELP at all) I must be acquiring the patience of Jesus because I told him "this conversation is ended because I am ready to SNAP OUT." I was feeling so HURT. That was a very cold statement. I prayed and put him in GOD's hands. But, I know GOD will continue to give me the peace,strength and patience I need to continue to care for my dad.
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Dear MaryAnn,

I am so sorry that you can't get any help from your brother. I commend you for asking for help, even though you aren't going to get it.
I have a brother that is only interested in my Mom's money, never calls her and when he talks with me only wants to know when he is going to get his share.
My Mother has lived with me for a year with Alzheimers. I asked my sister today if she could stay with Mom while I go take a weeks vacation, she told me no as Mom would drive her crazy. I just don't understand relatives.

Linda
Hi Maryann...and welcome to the messageboards...

Your dad is so lucky to have you... ...as for your brother, I think you did the right thing by letting him know how you feel,he is now the one who has to live with the knowledge he did not help his sister or father.
Emergencies are always stressful and you must be a very strong person to be handling them yourself thus far.
I hope you will take some time for yourself, and even look into some home care for your dad when he is back home. From talking with you in the chat the other day he sounds like a real sweetheart to care for, and would probably understand you want to get away sometimes.
Take care....hope to hear from you again soon...
P.G.
Hello, Hello PrairieGal:
I didn't realize you were a Moderator when I discovered the chat room, I knew there was something SPECIAL and very CALMING in your responses. I was speaking about you at my job the next day...I told them how I thanked GOD for our chat. I talked with my dad at the hospital this morning, he said he was feeling depressed because he did't want to be a bother. I told him he is not a bother, GOD has me here to take care of him. When I have to leave my job, it's O.K. with them, so stop worrying. My dad would understand my needing a few days away. He'll be in the hospital a few more days, they are trying to find out the problem. I do realize trials are only to test your faith, and I am a woman of FAITH. I'm meditating on the book of 1 Peter & 2 Peter. (key verse 1Peter 1:7.)hope to chat with you soon.
Hello Maryann

Your sharing about your brother brings up lots of old stuff for me that I have had to let go of... you can read about siblings throughout the boards and at the site... it seems that some of us were cut out to be the caregiver and some were not. If he treats you as he does, you probably wouldn't even want him caring for your dad...you can check out adult day care centers and respite... volunteer organizations etc...to assist you in caring for your dad..

I am also pleased to here that your dad would support you in takiing time for yourself. This means he is apprecfiative of you...and in one of my postings in another area, I encouraged you to communicate as much about what you are going through and feeling to your dad so that he could go the extra mile in helping to make it easier on you.

I do hope I get to meet you in the chats as well.

Keep us posted...

Richest blessings
Gail

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