Ann, I am new here and did not know about your mom, but I am caring for my mom who is 95. It is difficult to see ones loved one go down hill and then pass on. Most people do seem to have this "cross" to bear. I'd like to think it is for a reason that this seems to be the way it has to be.
My mom has already told me that when she passes there are two things she wants me to continually hear in my ear: "Don't you dare" ( in reference to tears ) and "Don't go there" ( in reference to the tendency to have guilt feelings of any kind whatsoever! " There is so much good to reflect on...go there.
This is another transitional period in her life as well as in your life. Perhaps it is because we question the future for her that we seem not to be able to trust that she is cared for right now. and that all is well with her right this very minute.
My religious beliefs play such an important part in my daily living and thinking. I know that I alone govern how I choose to think about things....and usually there are two choices to every decision. I hope oou can elevate your thought at this sad time for you and your family to trust the Eternal and know that you, too, are cared for and loved.
I'd like to think that with your mom's passing , you have one more guardian angel watching over you. I might suggest that you keep a journal every day and sometime during the day, write just a page letter to your mom, telling her how you are doing and feeling. Tell her you are going to make it through this one step at a time...and that together you both will make it through.
I know that I too will be saddened by mother's passing, but I also know that the time will be right to let her "fly free", and we must let her go inorder that we , too, might fly free.
In closing : The Human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it". Dedicate each day to your mom, talk to her. Jump out of that bed and face the challenges of the day.....that is exactly what she would want!!
God's blessings on you at this time.
Anna
