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Been in University in Wales, UK, where my mother was born, and parents met and married during the War. I have been fulfilling a lifelong dream. Mom survived a major operation for bone cancer, and 3 days before going home, and 5 days before my birthday, she suffered a bleed, renal failure, heart failure/attack, and ultimately a bilateral stroke. I have no communication with my siblings and if I had not kept in contact with mom, she too would have passed as my father did last year while in the UK, without me knowing. I was able to see mom before she passed, and said my goodbyes on my birthday. I played her favorite songs, found a pastor, had my husband with me and talked and prayed for a few hours alone with her. I believe she heard me. Siblings did not honor her wishes so she was on feeding tubes for a week, until my one sibling could come home. I chose not to sit at her bedside with my siblings as they have never sat at my parents bedside, nor did I want to watch my mother suffer. Even the day she died, it was her best friend who called to tell me. The funeral was very upsetting, the siblings sat around the room, away from me and my family. Never speaking to my husband or children. Even my childrens adult cousins never spoke. Mom still isnt buried, as she is going to be with dad at Arlington National, and there is a waiting list. So the pain is staying fresh until she is at rest. Still trying to let go of the anger with the sibling drama, but really feeling this grief as I only lost my dad a year ago.
Lots of emotions, lots of thoughts, and trying to sort whether or not to go back to school.

[This message has been edited by angel437 (edited 11-08-2008).]
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lots of loving hugs and prayers are coming your way.. the circles of life... your circles have complete with your parents.. and you healed with both of them on your own terms... this is the biggest healing...

I hope you will continue with your studies.. you have the incredible support of your husband and children and it is truly something you have dreamed of for so long...

Please keep us posted.. richest blessings... may your healing continue to be gentle and nurturing.

Hi Robin,
I wish I had answers for you about anger and the siblings. I am going through what you have experienced. I have two sisters and one, I haven't spoken to in two years and the other, well, we speak, but her significant other doesn't speak to me. Mom lives with them and he doesn't think I am doing my share. Because of this, our family has basically fallen apart. My mom's friends call me for updates on my mom and one of her friends told me if my mom knew that her daughters weren't speaking, it would kill her. Yeah, believe me, I get that. I tried to get them to go to see a therapist with me, and the one that I haven't spoken to in two years refuses, so there's not much I can do. I realize many, many families go through this. It is very stressful and yes, I have anger issues too. The only way I know how to deal with it is to try to put it out of my mind. I just try not to think about it. Robin, as you probably know, stress and anger only ends up hurting us, causing health issues, so we are best off trying to let go of it.

I wish you well,

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