I posted new a few months ago and due to "no time" as many of you, I could not frequent the boards. But mom passed away on July 12 and I seem to be "lost". The last few months of her living and me being the caregiver, I would keep telling myself that is was for a little while only. And now that she is gone, I long to say that again with her still there. I feel guilty on one hand that I seem to have more time, but on the other hand I feel "lost". I lost both parents within 6 months, and I am 41 yrs old now and my family has never know life without Meme and Paw. This is a new start for us, but I miss my mom terribly.
It had gotten so hard toward the end. I had great difficulty is caring for her, yet alone, my family and me. I am still tying up her estate and dad's from December, and packing and moving things and trying to sell their home. We lived next door, but just recently moved. I could not stand seeing their empty house on a daily basis. The move will be good for us.
I say all this to comfort others who may be in my same shoes. As I felt daily that this would last forever and I would never have time for me or my family or the things I used to do or my freedom to come and go..........I do now. It truly was for just a "short time".
We used Hospice beginning on the 6th of June and Mom passed on July 12th. She displayed all the warning signs of dying soon. She went very peaceful and in the most loving way I have ever witnessed. Our whole family and friends were there, in bed with her and beside her, reading the Bible and singing songs of praise, and praying her literally into Heaven.
All the missed sleep, the tears, the grief and frustration of daily caregiving is over now. I have a new life of freedom to come and go and can focus on me and my family comepletely. But I would sacrifice all that again for one more day to caregive for my parents. God, I miss them dearly.
kaymac
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