Thought for sure my caregiving days were over, when mom and siblings placed my father in a Nursing home during a much needed respite. Lost my father last May 2, still trying to cope with the loss, being I was out of the country when he passed, and preparing to leave in August to attend the University of Wales, my lifelong dream. It is with my husband and childrens blessing and lots of support from my family in Wales and now it seems my assistance is needed for my mother.
Although my relationship with my mother has been strained, I continue to keep the lines of communication open with her, as my siblings do not inform me of her health or hospital stays. Last year and the year before she had two major surgeries that I knew nothing about.
Well, to sum up the situation at hand, my mother has now been diagnosed with bone cancer, and she is in extreme pain. Not one of my siblings informed me of her trips to the hospital, she lives alone, and she contacted THEM and has the doctor contacting THEM with her situation. I made a trip up to be with her yesterday, stayed with her all day, caring for her, and stayed with her during her testings. Never saw my siblings at all. I told her that my hands have been tied for years in her healthcare, as she made the decision to have my siblings over me, I can only do so much, and that this is cruel to leave me hanging in the cold, with worry, on what is going on with her. She of course is the number one inabler(sp).
At the end of the day, she contacted my siblings to let them know that she wanted me to handle the medical aspect of what life she has left, and that she wants to die in her home. I was not looking to have control over her healthcare, just wanted to be abreast of it. Anyway, now that I have it once again, I want to be sure all the ducks are in place so that if she is still here when I go to Wales, (where my mother is from)I will know I have done my best for her.
I am inquiring about Hospice as I type this, finding out more about it. My biggest concern is financial as most of us are, and wondered if and how much does Medicare cover the care. The situation at hand, mom lives alone. Thank you to all of you who truly earn your wings everyday!