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Hi everyone, I havent been posting because we are still waiting on my husbands grandparents to move in, but, I have a question.

First some background: I am a stay at home mom, I have a 9 yr old in school and and 3 yr old home with me. I hope to get him into preschool this fall. I am sure the grandparents will be moving in by this summer.

Ok, here it is. I would really really like to go back to school. I at a point was thinking I wanted to go into nursing, one reason being that I would only have to go a couple years and then can get a job, and two because I want to take care of people. The route I am looking at now, and have more support from my husband for is Psychology. Obviously that takes much more time.

When the grandparents get here, I will be caring for Granny during the day (grandpa is younger and will be working). Is it possible to care for a grandparent (in poor health), care for my children, the household, and go to school?

I am feeling a bit frustrated because my husband keeps talking about how he wants to open a karate studio, and he keeps saying that it will be perfect for me to take classes at night, while he has the kids at the karate studio. I keep thinking to myself how am I supposed to do that, and how long am I supposed to wait before I get to do something for me (go to school).

I guess I am feeling like everyone elses needs are coming first. I dont mind taking care of granny, at all. I think its important that our children get this time with her, but, I guess I wonder, does anyone else here constantly have to put their own desires and needs aside for everyone else in the family, and if so, how do you stay sane, and not blow up? Maybe I am more frustrated that my husband has this goal in mind, and isnt taking into consideration how important my goal is as well. I have talked to him, but, he gets something in his head and he wont let go of it, ya know?

Maybe i just needed to vent, I dont know... thanks..
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Hi Oddball:

It's good to hear from you! Believe me, I can understand completely how you feel... I do believe that school is a very good investment of time. Let me share my story with you.

I came to care for my father (who will be 90 years old this year) five years ago when he was injured in a home invasion situation. As a result, I did not want to be "in his face" so I signed up to go to school. I have been going ever since... Whereas my load isn't as heavy as yours, I have little to no help and we have had some rough times. My father almost died after an operation for colon cancer three years ago and was on hospice for part of the year. Yes, my schooling suffered, but I still made it through with extra effort.

I take an average of two classes each semester. That works well for me and so I would recommend going part-time while care-giving. Otherwise, school becomes a stress instead of a joyful experience. This next semester I have signed up for three classes - one on campus and two are online. I do declare that going to school is the one thing that has saved my sanity during these care-giving years...

I am somewhat partial on this subject and in favor of getting an education in this day and age. You can do it if you take it slowly and realize that your nights will be consumed with study after all are tucked in and out of your hair! It just takes dedication, commitment and persistence... There are financial sacrifices also, but with financial aid available and other options such as grants, that is not a major worry.

I would start by going to the college of your choice and see what classes are available along with any financial aid that you may need. Also, many colleges are offering online class these days which really opens up your options as far as when you can "go to school"... Just beware of online schools that are not accredited!

So in answer to "is it even possible" my answer is yes it is. It is hard work and you will really need the support of your husband while going to school. Talk to him about holding off on his karate studio until you are both comfortable with whether or not you can handle the demands of starting a new business. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made in a marriage. Let him know that you support his idea but are just asking him to wait and give you a chance to go to school.

I wish you luck in following your dream... It is not healthy to put everyone else before ourselves all the time - it can also create emotions that are not healthy for our relationships. So, in the meanwhile, take care Oddball!

Love and Hugs from Glenda
I believe you can do anything when you've got all your support network in place. If not, then it's a little more difficult.

In the days BC (before children), I worked full time and attended an evening class. No problem, I managed it.

In the days AC (after children), I was a full time Mum and attended an evening class. Again, it was fine as my husband worked regular hours and he minded the children in the evenings.

I now work part time (during my children's school hours so time with them isn't compromised), I have two children, the eldest of whom is severely disabled and I tried to do a distance learning course because my husband had such a crazy shift pattern, it made attending an evening class impossible as we didn't have family support and the respite/sitting help we got wasn't regular and sufficient enough for me to be going to college.

Needless to say, I haven't completed the distance learning course. I think it was due to all these factors. I also think I would have completed it had I been able to attend a regular class rather than going it alone.

So, if you have a strong, reliable and regular support network, this can be a breeze for you. With a little organisation on your part, I'm sure you'll achieve your goals.

Good luck xxx
Hi Oddball...: )

I totally agree with all the posters..where there is a will there is a way..
Rearranging schedules is pretty much the norm while caregiving..it seems your needs always do come last, but with some family meetings perhaps..you can all work out something satisfactory to all of you...
If your grandparents are not in that bad of health then now is the time to get started..if they do end up needing a bit more care you could always look into a bit of home health aide also..
Good luck to you...
and let us know how you are making out..
PrairieGal

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