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My husbands grandparents live with us (sorry have not posted in a LONG time), and we ended up having to move to CA for DH's job, so they came along. It seems like Granny keeps trying to think of reasons she can not live here. It seems she has more energy since being here and is gong out more, sleeping less... but she seems to act like this is worse than living in Tucson AZ.

Today I was doing my homework in the dining area and she couldnt see me. Apparently she didnt realize my husband was home as well (grandpa took older son to school), and Granny says to herself "Left alone again...sigh" well then she realized DH was home and starts telling him "They shouldnt leave me alone, one of them should be here at all times" he asked who she was talking about and Granny says she is talking about Grandpa and myself. So at that point I say "I am right here" and DH tells her Im home as well... she says "oh" and scurries to her room.

Now, when she was having her really bad days in AZ I would stay home if she felt she needed someone here. She is doing MUCH better here, and a lot of times yes I take my younger son to his friends house for 3-4 hours to play. I am going to school, taking my classes online until next Fall, so I DO have a LIFE other than sitting in the house just so someone is here.

Is it bad of me to think maybe it would be better if they moved back to AZ to live with a friend? This isnt the only thing that has happened, there are bigger issues that have happened, but, I mean, does she have a right to expect that I dont leave the house if her husband goes somewhere? If she were doing poorly, I definately would stay, but, if she is sleeping, she doesnt want me to wake her, so I have no idea if she is having a good day or bad at that time, but, I mean... really, seriously, they have not held up thier end of the deal so they are lucky that we continue to hold up ours. (long story). I have put up with the way my kids get treated, we walk on eggshells a lot because of Grandpas "moods", its just not worth it. DH and I had agreed in the very beginning that our marriage and our children came first and if either were harmed by the grandparents moving in, they would have to move out. I have had words with Grandpa about how he treats the kids, DH has had words with him, but now my husband doesnt put his foot down. SIgh.... so, this is how Im feeling right now.
Original Post
I don't think you are bad to feel the way you do. It can be really trying to have extended family living with you, especially when they are in poor health or have foibles. My mother used to fight with the kids and it made me crazy and she had nowhere else to go, but there were times, especially when my children became teenagers that I wished she did! Sorry, not sure what the answer is. Husband probably needs to take more responsibility, but I know that, also, is difficult to force.

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