I've reached my limit, I've had my fill, I'm at the end of my rope, the wind's been knocked out of my sails...however you want to express it..I'VE HAD IT!!
I emailed my sister and told her that I needed a break, and not just a one nighter, I'd love a whole weekend, Friday night to Sunday night. She called me tonite and said that's fine! She is picking up mom Fri nite and mom will spend the entire weekend with her. I made arrangements with mom's aide to go to my sister's house and help out there. I can't tell you what this feels like; actually, right now, I'm still a little hesitant because I know things can change in 48 hours, but I am hopeful. An entire weekend just for me and my husband!! I don't even care if we don't leave our house. Just to be able to do whatever I want to do, whenever I want to do it, whether it be stay in bed or go out for long walks with my dogs, or sit outside and read a book...then there's always a nice, long, relaxing dinner with a "stirred not shaken" martini at a nice restaurant...I can't wait.
It's not about "getting rid of mom"...it's about regaining a part of my life back...for me. In that way, I will be rejuvenated and get myself back into the caregiving role on Monday. I've realized, with some help from friends and professionals, that you cannot keep giving and draining yourself without getting something back...you become totally depleted. I believe I am at that point right now...I cannot wait until Friday