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I've reached my limit, I've had my fill, I'm at the end of my rope, the wind's been knocked out of my sails...however you want to express it..I'VE HAD IT!!
I emailed my sister and told her that I needed a break, and not just a one nighter, I'd love a whole weekend, Friday night to Sunday night. She called me tonite and said that's fine! She is picking up mom Fri nite and mom will spend the entire weekend with her. I made arrangements with mom's aide to go to my sister's house and help out there. I can't tell you what this feels like; actually, right now, I'm still a little hesitant because I know things can change in 48 hours, but I am hopeful. An entire weekend just for me and my husband!! I don't even care if we don't leave our house. Just to be able to do whatever I want to do, whenever I want to do it, whether it be stay in bed or go out for long walks with my dogs, or sit outside and read a book...then there's always a nice, long, relaxing dinner with a "stirred not shaken" martini at a nice restaurant...I can't wait.
It's not about "getting rid of mom"...it's about regaining a part of my life back...for me. In that way, I will be rejuvenated and get myself back into the caregiving role on Monday. I've realized, with some help from friends and professionals, that you cannot keep giving and draining yourself without getting something back...you become totally depleted. I believe I am at that point right now...I cannot wait until Friday
Mimi
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Hi Mimi:

I am delighted for you. You deserve at least that for crying out loud. Yahoo!

That is right that no one can keep on care-giving without some break every now and then. You are only right to take care of yourself, walk your dogs and maybe have a little steak with that martini... (my mouth is watering!) lol

I am rooting for you that all goes well and the plans come through. You deserve it, Mimi. That's is good news!

Good Luck and All, Glenda



[This message has been edited by glenderella (edited 08-10-2005).]
Great news Mimi ... You deserve a rest. I'll keep my fingers crossed that your sister doesn't back out or some other catastrophe befalls you. Naw, ain't gonna happen! You're going to have a weekend with hubby and a little chance to recharge your batteries.

This could also be a good thing for your sister to deal with, too. When she has Mom for more than just seven hours on a Saturday, she might understand what a drain it is on you and be willing to help a little more than she has done in the past. Let's hope, eh?

In the meantime, keep positive thoughts that it WILL happen. Keep us posted.

~Jane

[This message has been edited by Irish152 (edited 08-10-2005).]
Mimi:

I am soooooooooooooooooo happy for you. I am so glad that you reached out to your sister and she grabbed on that rope to help you. I have such high hopes for you that this weekend will happen.

You know even the thought of getting a break - probably gives you the strength and energy to make it thru another couple days until your sister has her. From what I remember (and boy I sometimes no longer have a memory) - you have been caring for your Mom for 9 months - without a break. It does get incredibly draining -

I hope you have the BEST OF BEST weekends!!!! Please enjoy yourself in whatever you do - even if its taking a long bubble bath without ANY interuptions or watching a movie without being needed to assist. Ahhhh the possibilies of your weekend are endless.

I don't want to get ahead of myself here - but maybe just maybe your sister WILL understand what you are going thru and this can be a monthly thing - I KNOW when there is SOMETHING to look forward to - such as a break - it does make care-giving a little more bearable. Its not only a physical drain at times - but I believe care-giving completely and emotionally depletes you.

I am soooo happy for you!!!! Please let us know how you make out. I hope it is just WONDERFUL for you

Love,

Janet
Windazzle -- YUK on the gin martini...that's my hubby and it's only Tanqueray...me, on the other hand, I'll have Absolut, or Grey Goose...you know, after the first one, who gives a darn? lol
Janet, Jane, Glenda, thanks for your support. Here it is, 4p on Thursday, and so far, so good....Janet, you are so right...just thinking about it has given me a boost.
Sadly, I don't think a weekend is really enough for my sister to really comprehend what caregiving is all about, but I'll take it!!!
You know, Janet, it has been nine months and up until this past week or so I guess I felt a little guilty when I've read all the posts of all the people here and how long they've been doing this, I felt like I'm a weak person because it hasn't been that long. But, when you stop and think it is every day, 24 hours a day, well, it is a lot. Yes, I do have help; I have an aide that puts in 50 hours a week, but really, I only benefit from 6 hours on Saturday. The rest of the time I'm working. Listen to me, I'm rationalizing this....
Last nite, I was talking to my hubby and telling him that the minute we have the house to ourselves, I am going to run through the house, laughing as loud as I can and making as much noise as I know how to make...I know that sounds like I've lost my mind, but mom has NO tolerance for noise (Janet, you can relate)...tonite, I will put together the rest of my dream list...thanks again ladies...be well, Mimi
I will keep in touch and let you know how things worked out
Mimi now you better wait till AFTER the weekend before you come in and tell us how its going. This is one time that you need to let go of everything including the site for the weekend. We all know you will be thinking sometimes of us and you need to know that we will be thinking of your freedom weekend and hoping you live it to its fullest.
I had a few weekends without my mom and my sister took her in..They had my cell phone in case they needed to get hold of me and once I left the house I didn't think again about mom and knew she was in good hands. SO no quilt went with me. It felt so good to not have that responsibilty. I found all I wanted to do was lay around, not cook and no cleaning, no having to listen to talking all the time its was heaven. The best though is it was only temperary cause I know after a few days I would miss her.
So ENJOY this time. Do your thing and yell all you need to yell turn on that music and get on that sexy nighty and enjoy hubby on the living room couch! haha I am sure he will LOVE that!
Dear Mimi
Working full time and taking care of your mother when you get off and every weekend has got to be very stressful and draining.
I am so happy for you and your husband( he must be a saint). Have a good time and savor every minute of it. Try to make this a regular event.
Will be thinking of you
Sue
Hubby and I -- and my wonderful, loving dogs -- are having fun. My sister has called me 5 times since she picked up mom yesterday about 4p. I really didn't think just a weekend would give her an idea of what we go through, but I think just 24 hours has already done it... At one point, she was complaining to me about something mom had said or done and I quietly said "welcome to my world"....enough said...
Tonite, we go out for a nice quiet dinner and tomorrow my grandson, who is 3, is coming to visit for the next 10 days...hubby and I will both be on vacation. Jackson adores trains, so we have all kinds of activities planned around trains and we bought him his own Thomas the Tank Engine train set...I'm looking forward to the week. Of course, there will be mom, who has no tolerance for noise, but somehow, she's just going to have to bite the bullet for the week...I'm hoping that most of our time will be spent away from home with Jackson, mom will be with the aide and by the time we get home, he'll play quietly with the train...either that, or we get mom ear plugs LOL....
We just got back from taking our pups for a long walk...now, I'm headed for a nice warm bubble bath, candles are lit, Andrea Bocelli is singing....it doesn't get much better than this!!! Blessings to all of you...Mimi

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