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I am already gone Buried Alive

I have Alzheimer�s disease
I�ve had it for some time
People say I not in my right mind
My words are strange they mean nothing to them
But I try so hard, I can remember that hymn
Will it be better if I could just stop?
If I had no words no sound no talk
I see in their face how frighten they are
Like someone who has lost a friend
The words won�t come, they have nothing to say.
I am already gone, buried alive?

They don�t need to visit me; I can not remember their names
They don�t need to visit, they have nothing to say
When they were small and did not know my name
Couldn�t utter a word
Couldn�t feed themselves
Couldn�t put on their on clothing
Couldn�t walk
Couldn�t change their own diapers
I had something to say, to love, to kiss, and to touch
They did not give me back much a smile a giggle a drool
Are we so different now?
I can still enjoy your love, your kiss, and your touch
I am, already gone, buried alive

This tired sad lonely old soul will some day find peace
I am sure then you will find just the right words to say
Of all the wonderful things you had take away.
But when you alone and just one face you see.
What will frighten you then, the way you left me alone?
How you could have enjoyed my rambling words for just one more day?
How you could have held my hand and given your kisses away?
How you deprived me of just seeing your face
Or will it be the thought of your fate
Will you be left alone, already gone and buried alive

By Melinda Horvath December 11.2006
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