I have been needing a support system for sometime now. Hopefully, I have found a place. As I read through the messages, my issue seems small in comparison. How dare I complain. But, I will put myself out there anyway.
I have been married to my husband for 22 years. Twenty of those years he has suffered both mental and physical illnesses. He has been on disability 17 of those years.
We are currently dealing with recovery from pacemaker surgery. He is only 50. He originally received the pacemaker 9 years ago. The battery was replaced in 2005. This year he suffered infections twice. In October they had to remove the pacemaker (complicated procedure) and replace with a new one. We treated with IV antibotics at home. Lest I be too long, the problem is I feel resentment and angry many times. I feel guilty for having theses feelings. It is not his fault he has been dealt these varies heath problems. But how can I be more loving instead of resentful. I hate the way I feel sometimes. I pray to God everyday to help me be more loving. Love as Christ loved us. It is so hard.
When my husband is well, I feel there is more he could do to help me around the house since he is home and I work outside the home. When he gets sick then all the built up resntment comes flowing in instead of the love. Thanks for letting me share.