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I went out and sat in the yard this morning, which I always realized was inadvisable, but it is one of the few pleasures I have right now. Mom almost never wakes up early in the morning and I come in and check on her frequently. We were up at 4:45 this morning going to the bathroom (and not quite getting there in time), so I didn't think for a minute that she would be up again at 8:30. I was sitting in the swing, thinking, and I guess time got away from me. When I went in to check, she was yelling for someone to help her. She was on the toilet (heaven only knows how she got there without help). She had tinkled on the floor, trying to make it there. Since her toilet riser wasn't on, she was really hurting and couldn't get up. It is a wonder she didn't fall. I feel just terrible and it is completly my fault for not being there for her. She demanded to know where I was. There doesn't seem to be any injury, but I really let her down. Sometimes I feel like I am just not cut out for this, too self involved maybe. Maybe she just can't be left alone for even one minute and I just don't get it. Or else, maybe I just have to be absolutely sure I am checking on her often if I go outside, like every three minutes. If I can't even go out in the yard, I am not sure I can take this. It is getting harder and harder to get help from friends and family, as the bathroom thing is getting more and more difficult.
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My grandmother is bedridden and in very poor health. I hate to leave her alone for even a minute, if truth be told and I feel so guilty when I'm away from her because I know there is so little she can do for herself. But I also know that I need time out of her small room--time to take care of business and time for myself, especially outside. So the idea that me and my aunt recently hit upon is to get a baby monitor so we can hear her if she needs help. We haven't actually gotten it yet because we were waiting for the money from a program that is helping us out financially with some of her medical needs, but I'm sure most of them work outside and can go a fair distance. I'm hoping this will help ease all of our minds.

Love and light...oh, and be kind to your mind and don't give yourself a hard time...accidents happen...mistakes too...this is life and the human experience, we can only hope to learn from them.

Had the same problem ............a friend suggested a baby monitor. I put one in the bedroom and clipped the other part on my waist. Now that Dick can move around more in the house I have them all over. They are so sensitive that if he's in bed and rolls over I can hear his body move across the sheets. Now I can putter in the yard, lay in the hammock or sit in the chaise on the lanai and read and know every move he makes an hear every sound. They weren't very expensive, and even if they were, they would be worth every dollar !!!!

Don't beat yourself up about what happened. There's no way ANYONE can be alert 24/7 !!
If you don't have some time of your own you'll be a basket case and then who'll watch out for her ?

Get the baby monitor and you'll be able to sit outside without a knot in your stomach wondering what's happening in the house.


I got mine at Wal-Mart. If your Mom gets up and around by herself be sure you read all the information on the packages as there are quite a few choices available. The first one I got was two stations (one for the bedroom and one for me). Now I have one that has stations for 3 rooms in the house and one that I leave on the lanai and one I can take with me. You will really LOVE the freedom it gives you.

Dear Bridget,
You poor soul! Please don't punish yourself so! Listen to the others and get the monitor. I got one for my mom after she fell out of bed one night and I was sleeping and did not hear her calling for me. Talk about feeling guilty!! I was just down the hall from her, with doors open! I guess I was just in a deep sleep at the time; then again, she may not have called out, with Alzheimer's...who knows???

I went out the next day and got the monitor, at BabiesRUs and I believe it was less than $40 and a bed rail, which she refused to allow me to put on the bed. Well, she's never fallen out of bed since, but the monitor gave me so much peace of mind, and now my sister has it and uses it all the time.

Bridget, "stuff" happens, we cannot control everything in life. You are doing wonderful loving work for your mom, which is so much more than most. My prayers and thoughts are with you dear angel...
Bridget, you have to care for yourself to. If you don't who will? I have a baby monitor to because I always thought my DH was calling me and would get up to see what he wanted and he never called. I always had the TV very low so I could hear and I was hearing him even though he didn't call, because I was afraid I wouldn't hear him. Finally got the monitor and then I could relax and read a book or magazine and how wonderful that felt. Well worth the money for piece of mind.
Hi Bridget . . I'm not a full time caregiver but it seems that you're being really hard on yourself! I know when my Mom had a stroke my Dad got Walkie Talkies so that she could holler if she needed help so that gave her ( a little ) sense of independence and my Dad peace of mind!

You seem to love the idea of a baby monitor I wonder would you feel like you had to listen all the time???? Would you feel more burdened? Just curious . . .

Anyway, you do need to take care of yourself so you can be there for your Mom . . .


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