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I NEED HELP...I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND HELP EVERYWHERE. THEY SAY HE DOESN'T HAVE LONG TO GO. THE CANCER HAS MOVED VERY QUICKLY THROUGH HIS BODY. HE WANT'S TO COME HOME TO DIE. THIS HAS ALL HAPPENED IN THE LAST 6 WEEKS. WE HAVE 6 GRANDKIDS LIVING IN OUR HOME WHO I DON'T WANT FOR THEM TO SEE THERE PAPA TURN INTO SKIN AND BONES. WE HAVE ADOPTED 4 OF THEM SO THERE OURS UNTIL THERE 18 YRS OLD. MY HUSBAND IS ONLY 52 YRS OLD. WE HAVE NO INCOME NOW SINCE HIS ILLNESS AND I DON'T KNOW WHO TO CONTACT FOR HELP. I PICK HIM UP FROM THE VA HOSPITAL IN THE MORNING AND WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A BED FOR HIM. HE IS ALSO ON HEAVY PAIN MEDS. AND HE ALLSO HAS A TUBE IN HIS STOMACH SO HE CAN BE FEED THROUGH. THIS MAY SOUND BAD BUT I CAN'T HANDLE DOING THINGS LIKE THAT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO PLEASE HELP ME....E-MAIL ADDRESS IS GRANDSAND6120@AOL.COM OR YOU CAN E-MAIL MY DAUGHTER AT WKDGRLSGV@AOL.COM
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Hi Sand...and welcome....

This is sort of a tough dilemma you are in...wanting to follow thought with your husbands wishes, but scared about the consequences.
Have you gotten in touch with the Cancer Society in your area..?Perhaps they can assist you in your decision and if you do bring him home, can offer or suggest some agencies that can do in-home assisitance with you while he is there.
Also line up some social work people and perhaps a trusted clergyperson, who can be there for you and your grandchildren if/when you need them.
You have my prayers and best wishes...I can well imagine how hard this is for you...try to stay strong...
Please post again and keep us informed how you are making out...

PrairieGal
Weclome Sand
I am sorry to hear your husband is so young and that his time is nearing. Several thoughts come to mind:

Ask his doctor to place him in hospice care at home...if you are financially unable to provide any care for him, the system should be able to help you.

As for your grandchildren, it is normal to want to protect them and shield them from the deterioration process of the disease, but the truth is that death and dying are a part of life...having them around may actually bring added joy in these final times for your hubby and even more meaningful experiences for them if you permit them to become involved.

If your husband wants to come home, it is his right to. Hospice is loving and supportive. They send out nurses, volunteers, aids and offer so much eotional and spiritual support to the family to help them cope and turn it into as loving an experience as possible. In order to gain admittance, you will have to have his doctor write a prescription. Also hospice provides pain management which is essential for him at this time.

I would also speak with the social worker at the Va and ask them what options and services are available since he is with the VA. You can also call Cancer Care, the Cancer Assoc, and you may want to check into social security disability as well as your state for food stamps. support etc.

Meals on wheels will deliver prepared meals at home..

there is much available to you...you need to be open to reaching out and receiving them.

keep us posted...

richest blessings during this difficult time

Gail

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