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Hi Gail


I've been a bit 'lost' these past little while. So much stuff happening I can barely keep up. I'm still 'processing' the death of my mother, and asking alot of hard question, of myself and strangely of her - even though she can't answer them.


Hubby is in a lot of pain, but coping like the courageous man he is. I was worried about taking on caregiving again. I thought I may become resentful and angry all over again, I thought it would be a real struggle for me. Instead - I have experienced the fulfilling feeling of caregiving that I never felt before. I actually feel priviledged to take care of him. We are drawing ever closer because of this experience. While he was in hospital for the surgery and afterwards, i went every afternoon just to be with him. after the surgery he was still extremely groggy and I just sat there being near him while he slept. I was so glad when he could come home.


it will be at least 3 months of helping him with almost everything, and I know that by the time he doesn't need my help with everything anymore I'll probably miss it a little bit.


It's a very different and wonderful feeling. Not that I can compare my mother to my husband. He shows appreciation every day, he is more concerned about my wel lbeing than of his own. He hates being an invalid but is incredibly grateful that I am willing and able to be his hands during this time.


It is truly a learning experience for me. One I am very grateful for.



You sound as though you are coping well.  I've done the double caregiver thing with mother and husband.  Yes, there is definitely a difference.  Husbands carry different "baggage" than Moms.  Some of it is the "guy" thing as they adjust to the situation. 


Just be sure to take time for yourself.  We're here if you need us.




Hello Asiza,


Your transformation into caregiving immediately after the loss of your mom is a beautiful share... What actually happened to him?  You never really mentioned it was it his shoulder?


Are you working during this time as well and how is that going?


Barb is right, try to take some time for you... take a massage... keep yourself balanced and healthy so you can bring your little one into a loving, healthy environment free of the major concerns that plagued you for so many months...


keep us posted angel...


luv 2 u



Hi Gail


Hubby tripped over a chain at work, came straight down on his arms (he was protecting his face and head) and it shattered his right elbow and broke his left arm. Both arms were in casts at first. Two days later he had surgery on his right elbow to put it back together again. He now just has dressing on his right, and nothing on his left, as the doc wanted to give him some freedom of movement. he has to wear his slings whenever he goes out though.


I am working all the way through... I have a long weekend coming up so I'm looking forward to that. Hubby will be off work until March 2012... a bit jealous of that!

Hi All:


Gosh those accidents happen in such a split second and the recovery is so slow... I am sorry about your hubby's injury Asiza - so difficult for all. I injured my shoulder over a year ago and it is finally almost back to normal. I couldn't believe it! Getting dressed in the morning became a challenge. The line between being a care-giver and needing care can be thin.


I hope your holiday season is gentle on you this year and you get some nurturing yourself. Try not to stress out and remember to breathe (I should follow my own advice)!


Just know that you ARE appreciated and we are here for you. I will pray for holiday blessings for you and your family!


Hugs, Glenda



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