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This week has been pretty rough. I'm not sure why. It's not an anniversary date and nothing happened to open the wounds but it's just been a crappy week.

I've tried to get motivated here and get on with things. I started a new job about a onth ago. Just working p/t. I was feeling really lousy yesterday at work and at lunch time I found a church and went in and had a real nice cry. I know they were all starring at me when I got back as if they knew something was wrong but no one said anything. I am still babysitting the grandson, but the other one started kindergarten on monday so he will only come here after school.

This week I have been very down and missing Mom so much. I keep remembering that last day and all the events that took place during her passing.
It's like a movie I keep replaying it over and over again in my mind.

I am really getting tired of feeling this way. I am trying really hard to be happy and 'up'. But sometimes I do not do such a good job.

I know that the hospice has a counselor that I can call and speak with......maybe I should give her a call.
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Hi ya angel,
I hear you friend. I know that nothing anyone says to you really helps, as I to am going through something as well. I haven't physically lost my dad, or mom, but my feelings are feelings of grief, as I believe yours is. It comes in waves, and lately I am finding it difficult to keep the smile on my face too. I went from working P/T to F/T and what was I thinking? I also think for me I am in that menopause thing, and haven't clue how to deal with that either.
Hang in there, easier said than done, just do what you need to do, pray, cry, rant and rave, take a nice walk, bath, whatever it is at that moment you need to do, FOR YOU.
Hugs,
Robin
Hi Patty:

It is good to express your grief. Sometimes it is just hard because the timing may not be the best... However, do not feel as if you should be quiet about it. It may help to let your co-workers know you are going through a period of grief after losing your mother.

I remember reading that it helps to rent sad movies or cry in the shower which may help you to stay sane during your work time... But, I do think that you should contact the hospice counselor to help you through your period of grieving... Heaven knows that they have the knowledge to help you through this.

Do take care Patty. Be gentle with yourself... We are just so glad that you are sharing with us what you are going through - it helps!

Love and Hugs from Glenda
Thanks to both of you. I think a lot of this is steming from the fact that my sister in law lost her Mom about a month ago. She too was with hospice and my SIL was dealing with all the same things I had been dealing with.

I saw her on saturday at my daughters' baby shower and, I could see the pain and greif in her eyes. I think I was feeling for her and remembering the feelings that she is now going through.

Boy, life sure sucks sometimes, doesn't it?
Hi plink...

I'm sorry you're feeling so down..it's very normal though..yes, if you feel you won't be able to work through it on your own use a grief counsellor..
It's funny but I do pretty good..(i lost my mom in 2000 and my dad a bit over a year ago)..except in autumn..those "waves" just overwhelm me at this time of year..autumn is when my dad had his first stroke, it is when my mom first became ill, and when she passed away 3 years after that, it is also when my father in law passed away...as soon as it feels autumn-ish to me the memories start, and the urge to just cry and cry takes over..like today for example we drove by the hospital where my mom had been in for a couple of months before we brought her home to care for her..and the whole thing played over inside my head..I felt tears starting but managed to stop them..I intend to have a good cry one of these days, maybe it will help..
Don't stop your tears..to me crying over loved ones lost almost seems to bring them closer to me, sort of like they are looking down on me from their higher place and sensing how much I miss them, yet wanting to ease my pain..I do believe the tears help with that..
Please let us know how you are doing...
and take care of yourself...
PrairieGal

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