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Long story January of this year my husband suffered an accidental self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head with severe open traumatic brain injury. I am currently his caregiver and the primary caregiver of our 2 year old son. I really could use an outlet to vent, get information and support.




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Hi Tina:  Firstly, I am soooooo very sad to read your story...your husband's "misfortune" (I hope i have chosen an appropriate word to describe his accident..forgive me if I have not)....but I urge you to celebrate your strength.  I cannot even begin to imagine what your world has been since this accident.  ironically, I watched today with tears in my eyes as Gabby Gifford's stepped down and the US Congress pay their tribute to her.  She is such an inspiration.  I don't know that your husband's journey can be that, or better or perhaps not that way at all.  But she certainly stands as a beacon of hope.  I hope all of those realities for you.


I too am "new" here.  My journey has not been anything like what you are experiencing...but I think somehow we are drawn to each other in a 'greiving' process in way.  In 2006, I lost a sister to a rare brain tumor.  In July of 2009, a second sister was lost to mastisized (sp?) breast cancer.  In September of 2009, my Mom died...we say of a broken heart.  But the true clinical diagnosis was a massive heart attack followed by two strokes six months apart.  Ultimately, a damaged brain.  NOW I try to help out with a mother in law who is trying to cope with moderate alzeihmers.  Some good days, some not so good days.  so very sad to watch.  So very difficult to understand.  So challenging to try to help her thru her long days when she is lucid.  She resides in a "residence"...but family is still a very important component of her care/treatment.


So...I tell you this to let you know that I would be priveledged to be someone you can speak to, vent with, and just unload on.  I don't have answers, but I'm brave enough to tell you I don't have answers.  And I'm smart enough to know that many questions just don't have answers.  In my experience, the question I have asked the most is the question "WHY...?".  I have yet to find an answer to that question that will appease me.


Ok...I'm out of words ....and i hope as I close out this letter, you will somehow feel a little less alone.


Your "Invisible" Friend



Hi Tina and What-To-Do:


I haven’t quite figured out how to maneuver this website and missed your tragedy Tina. I do hope that you are bearing up well with such a heavy load. How is your DH doing?


Please do feel free to vent here to all of us and know that we really do support you. Life is hard enough without a traumatic brain injury to cope with at such a young age. How is your dear baby boy doing? Gosh, I still remember the terrible twos and I am old enough to be a grandmother. I hope you have been getting support from family during this time – and the community…


I can tell you are a strong woman from your postings. As What-to-do has said, “celebrate your strength”. You certainly don’t whine like I did in so many of my postings in the past. You are refreshing! Please do let us be here for you and just know that you are not alone…


What-to-do, I so agree with you about Gabby Gifford. What amazing strength!


I am so sorry for your losses so recently. Two sisters and your mother… Dear God! The loss of your sisters so close together and your dear mother probably did suffer because of that. You, dear heart, certainly have a lot of strength to celebrate also.


I sometimes think that God has taken our loved ones to spare them the hardships ahead or for better purposes than that. I don’t know of course, but oftentimes faith helps.


Just know, the both of you, that we care.


Hugs, Glenda

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