My name is Debby and I am 58 years old. I live in MD &I have just recently become the caregiver to my dad who is 87. Mom died after a 3 yrs struggle with lung cancer . Dad & my brother who lived with them , in WV, took good care of her. Mom's death hit dad hard, but he was coming back when my brother fell off a ladder and died of blunt force trauma. Dad discovered the body. This really sent dad into a deep depression. 4 days after burying my brother dad came to MD to live with me. The following night he had a heart attack. Then they discovered he has stomach cancer, that has moved to the liver. I am handling all this, his depression is under control and he's accepted the diagnosis and has chosen not to do anything about the cancer. My issue is with the lack of family support. When mom was ill everyone said , if they were closer we could help out. Dad is closer and no one is helping out. 2 brothers can't even be bothered to call him. Another brother shows up every 7-10 days , hangs for an couple of hrs and is gone. Sister in NJ who was very good about going to visit when mom was ill and staying for a week at a time, has been here once since dad came to stay with me (8 weeks ago). We are all still reeling from my brothers unexpected death, but I can't or won't accept the fact that dad is dying and they don't seem to care. I want him surrounded as much as possible by his family, but the only ones he sees on a regular basis are myself, my husband, my children & their family. Weeks go by without him seeing other family members. I need to come to grips with this situation before I go nuts myself.
Tips, hints, thoughts? If I;m expecting too much tell me.