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I have some terrible choices to make and I sure could use some input.

Here in Michigan lives:
1. my 83 year old mother(Widowed)fairly good heath. Hypocondriac. Lots of dr. visits. Would gladly have me give up my life to take care of her and the family.

2. my 86 year old aunt (never married no kids we're her only family) broken hip.

3. my 76 year old aunt lives one block away from my Mom.widowed. No kids. recent stroke.

4.my mother in law.75 widowed. has had esophogial cancer surgery, breathing problems now. Smoker.

5. Mother in laws sister 73 lives close to Mother in law. Has had hip replacements barely gets around seldom leaves house.No kids.Also widowed.

All of these ladies live by theirselves in their own homes and don't want to go to nursing homes. I have a brother 47who is a truckdriver who isn't home much to help and he has health problems himself(diabetes).

My mother even threatened to come and haunt me if I ever put her in one. Joking but serious if you know what I mean.

Heres the big problem. My husband whom I love very much and who loves me lives in Arizona and won't/can't move back to Michigan.
We moved there, then my son and I moved back to Michigan me out of guilt. My son is another story (he hated living in az missed his friends started abusing himself with cutting and burning his arms(have sought counseling for him for that).

I really don't know what to do I want to be with my husband but feel I'm needed here. Please help. I'm only 43 years old and I feel like I should be able to enjoy some of my life. Also I work as a caregive in group homes and have for years. Feeling major burn out here.
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Since all these ladies are still in own homes and related to you (even tho it appears some may be through your husband} do they know each other and get along. Our area has some assisted living apartments where meals are served in common dining room, have housekeeping services and nurse on premises. The charges seem rather high around here, but if there were 4 of them with 4 incomes, maybe something like that with 2 bedrooms. I know this suggestion sounds a little bizarre since all probably have their own way of keeping house, etc. but there is no way you can spread yourself thin enough to care for them all with your husband miles away. Only thing I can think of at the moment.
Hello Tripledecker...

boy what a situation...my immediate thought is to move all of them into one home and hire day and night help to care for them all... it seems that they would love being together and that by sharing the care, something might be resolved and they would also have each other.

It isn't easy with your hubby in Arizona...and you will probably have to do some real soul searching ... you might want to call a professional who can help you to bring all the family together to assist them in having it work for all of them..

keep up your search...there are choices and options which will be revealed to you..

keep us posted.. richest blessings
Gail

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