Hi, ya'll. It's been a while since I've posted, but I stop by to read your posts and put out positive thoughts for all you angels on a near daily basis.
As most of you know, I care for my husband (62) who is disabled with his back, diabetic and still suffering chronic pain as an after-effect of open heart surgery some 5 years ago this month.
My mother (86) is still in the nursing home, doing physically pretty well (diabetic, Parkinsons, major stroke about 4.5 years ago). She's showing signs of increasing mental decline - not processing well, but still in a happy place mentally and satisfied with her care.
My latest challenge is my oldest of 3 brothers, who has come to live with us for lack of having any place else to go. I don't know where to start. We have never gotten along well. He bullied us younger sibs in childhood, including some "inappropriate touching" toward me when I was too little to know what was going on. As teens, he "scared off" any budding relationships I was trying to have with fellas to which I was attracted, trying to set me up with his friends. We haven't been around each other except fleetingly at family functions for the past 35 years. (My mother hadn't seen him in 8 years.) My sister has always rescued him before, but she is having major health problems herself and her husband won't have any extra put on her right now (good for them).
So my brother is an alpha male wannabe. Always had problems with authority. Was in the Navy in the 80's, so is a non-wartime veteran. Got malaria, which has caused damage to his heart. He's had a few heart attacks, but claims to not have blockages. The VA was carrying him medically until the end of September. I don't know what happened, but they kicked him out of the system. They have all his medical records, and I cannot get access to them without his cooperation, and even then it may be a fight to get them for him. I thought we might be able to get him on SSDI, so he would have enough money for rent and food, but I can't get him motivated to take action to do that or pursue further contact with the VA.
He arrived labor day weekend, after a 36 hour bus ride from Denver. I gave him the larger bedroom upstairs, but swapped out the beds so if we do have houseguests, they will have someplace to sleep. He shipped his computer here so he can do some online income-generation that flows to a debit card. I don't know the particulars, but I gather he is not making as much money as he was led to believe he would. He doesn't have a driver's license, so is dependent on me for his transportation. He makes noises about finding a min wage job close by and eventually moving out.
Eventually can't come soon enough for my DH, who says the guy gives him the creeps... me, too. I've had to really stand up to having my personal space invaded when cooking meals or working at my desk or just about anything else I do. We are opposites politically. I've stopped watching the news or listening to the radio when he is present, so I don't have to listen to his editorial comments. Otherwise we have a town hall at our house... not fun. Thank goodness for radio on the mp3 player, satellite tv in the bedroom, and a wifi-enabled laptop computer.
One more thing, then I'll shut up for awhile. My DH's brother has been doing contract work in Iraq and is home this week. We haven't seen him in over a year. We want to make the 3 hour drive to go visit and stay overnite. My brother has offered to housesit and has learned my routines caring for the dog and horses. I really want to go, but DH doesn't trust my brother alone in the house with "our stuff." For all his bad behavior, my brother has never been accused of theft or even plundering (I asked my sister directly about this). He seems sincere in helping us in this case, and I'm inclined to let him. DH thinks this is another power play to take over our home.
So that's what's been going on here. As always, prayers and positive energy are always welcome. I have asked our middle brother, who will be here Thanksgiving, if he would consider taking him back to Texas with him - but he is getting laid off soon and this oldest brother eats A LOT.
must - think - happy - thoughts....