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Today I got up and mom gave me her grocery list. She is good I must admit, there were only three items on it. But I am just so tired of the same daily grind every day where I go to the store, come home and make dinner for us. I know I shouldn't whine about it here where everyone has so much worse problems. If I didn't make dinner she just wouldn't eat, or eat just a bowl of cereal at 9 pm. I never get out and do anything and don't have even one friend although I have been very friendly to everyone around here. I sit in this little cramped condo by myself and mom sits in her chair all day and reads or sleeps and that is my entire life. I don't ususally feel too bad about my life but today it was so nice outside and I had nowhere to go and no one to see as usual. Is this the way the rest of my life will be? Is this all there is? What if this is as good as it gets?
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Oh how I can relate to your post. I too go thru a daily "boredom" routing now that I am home ft caring for 94 year old grandmother. I went from owning my own business to being home as a 24/7 caregiver. I wish I had suggestions to make the days go faster and easier but I just don't. I try to get outside and sit or go for short walks when she is napping. My husband works 70+ hours a week to avoid being home since I have been caregiving. It gets very lonely and boring having lost all friends and not being able to get out at all. I will tell you that my house has never been cleaner but that can only go so far. I have been able to do some simple volunteer work with a group I belong to from home (doing newsletter, flyers, mailing) and this sometimes helps. But most day, I just want to get in my car and drive and drive and drive and sometimes never come home. lol. I can relate to your situation and would love to know if others have any advice to share. I do have a home health aide that comes in 2x a week for 1 1/2 hours so I do get a break but that's about it. Grandma is adamant that she doesnt need a babysitter to other care or caregivers are out of the question. grandma moves really slow and it can take almost 3 hours for her to eat breakfast, use the bathroom, and read the daily paper and then it's time to get dressed and have lunch so there isnt much time left in the morning and then it's time for lunch and nap. any suggestions from others on how to help beat the boredom?
Ct,
May I ask why is a caregiver out of the question? It sounds as if you have a very good relationship with your grandmother. Try talking to her and explaining to her that you need some time for yourself; then find someone to come in for a couple of hours one or two days a week and see how that goes.
My mom is 83 and has Alzheimer's. She's in the moderate stages and cannot be left alone, although she thinks she is perfectly fine and does NOT need a "babysitter". I tell mom that she's not here for her, that she's here to help me..maybe that will work for you...be well, Mimi
Hi! I understand the daily routine thing, sometimes it just gets really tough taking care of my wife who needs 24/7's. Finding space is a huge job. This job was thrust upon me so suddenly and I had no idea of what to do. At first there were times when I resorted to drinking to cope and calm my nerves. Not a good thing if you are a recovering alcoholic. I learned that over time that this was something that I could not do myself and found some folks that can help. A care giver for respite is a must. There is really no option because unless I can have my own space I cannot take care of myself. If I cannot take care of myself I cannot do well in taking care of others. I use this time for strenuous outdoor sports which keeps me mentally and physically healthy. I also have a treadmill in the house so that I can do this daily and still be close to my wife. Because of living in a fairly isolated area there are no support groups nearby for caregivers. When I found this forum I have vented a few times and this is very helpful to me. Kay has also managed to isolate me from friends. I am turning that around because I decided to not allow that. It requires much more effort on my part in reestablishing relationships with folks who have drifted away. I know things are starting to work, just not fast enough as I am very impatient and this is another hard thing to learn. There is one other thing that is helping, because I am a recovering alcoholic, I get to go to meetings and have a support group in that way. I also have a councelor who helps me with some of my issues with co dependency. The one thing that helps more than anything is that I have drawn a line in the sand and will not allow anyone including my wife to cross that. Well good luck with your mom. Larry D.

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