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Wow .. . now we have 4! parents' ill' . .
My Mom even post knee surgery and a stroke cannot drive so I miss her terrible and my Dad post stent angioplasty . . well basically if I want to see them I have to drive to see them . . . I miss terribly Mom getting something for me as little as some knitting supplies!

Mom In Law has her blood sugar out of control fell asleep at the wheel in AZ ended up in hospital my husband understandably wants to go see her .. .

but I'm just beat! from all the travelling in the last 7 years .. .

Dad in Law I think he never says but in Indiana keeps asking if we want to come out . . . .

I don't honestly I'm TIRED!

My husband just went on insulin . . .

So where am I in all this?????


I have accupuncture treatments and my health is just well it's deteriorating . . .

My marriage is still in a place where we probably need counseling but my God I'm only human!

Husband's bday was last week plus my parents bday andand and . . .


I am seeing fuzzy in all this . .

Guess I'm pissed off . . .

That I don't feel taken care of

Dad is paying our bills bless his heart but that doesn't address holy moses I'm tired and alone in my doc visits . . .

Which are waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy overdue . . .

My credit cards almost got cancelled cuz I 'forgot' to use them so now I'm battling with them so I don't lose my credit . .

Overload!

Sigh . . . .
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{{{Seba!}}}

Hugs and hold-ya-ups above.

Gee, just when I think I'm feeling overwhelmed... I guess I'm only "whelmed."

Seriously, though, I marvel that you have the power to move at all. Is it momentum? You deserve a vacation, even if it is just staying home one weekend and doing nothing. The 4th is coming up. Sorry there is so much going on all at once in your family across so many miles.

There's a quote - I want to say Rosalind Russell in "Gypsy," perhaps: That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. . . or something like that.

Hang in there, kid. We're here for you. Breathe!

Hugs,
Barb
Hi Barb . . .thank you so much for this . .

I need to hear what you just said from my husband . . .

I keep hearing oh just this and just that . .

just go back to sleep or just go see your parents ( lovely thought but it's hard to face their mortality and Dad keeps saying they're gonna die when they are alive now! )

I know that's his way of coping but enough's enough Dad . . . . got it . .
you're gonna die one day but not today I hope!

I have to say that to him . .

Dad in law I believe has prostate cancer . .

Yes family is all over the place but yes I really do need a respite . .

Funny cuz there is a fourth gathering on the 28th that I know my husband will want to go to but I don't . .

Guess I had to say that . . .

Maybe I'll hang back let him go alone . .

which is weird and has a lot of feelings in itself . . . I think I want to stay back and let him go talk magic with his friends . .. . . that gets into a bunch of other feelings . . .

I feel incredibly alone .. . . want to want to go . . but don't god does that make sense????????

This is a 'gang' that my husband relates to much more than me wait no . . .
I'm TIRED . . and don't want to pack a bag and travel 6 hours to be with a bunch of people I really don't want to talk to . . .

( yikes guilt! )

Bless your heart for understanding!

Especially that my family is what 20 miles away? Someone once said that I am the only local child caring for my parents and that's so true!

I'm supposed to go to yoga tomorrow and I'm at the point where it's hard to get momentum . . . . ~ even to get out lately . . . goodness I haven't rambled on for a while!

Have a hair cut on Friday and a gathering on Sat . . . I just want to veg. . . .

Again . . thanks!

seba
Hi, Seba.

I do certainly understand, but reading your last post made me a little concerned. Please do make sure that you are not withdrawing too much. If you are due a dr's visit, then get that done and tell him/her what's going on in your life and how exhausted you feel - just in case there is a physical cause, or you're slipping into depression... I've been there, and it's no fun to fight alone.

Yoga sounds good. Sending your DH away "just this once" (I wouldn't make it a habit), so you can have some you time is fine. Respite. Re-energize. Take care of you.

Hugs,
Barb
Hi Barb . . thank you . . for your kind words and your encouragement . . . you have a way of saying what needs to be said in a gentle way and also well what needs to be said . .

Yes I've been down ( alot more has been going on . . . 13 deaths in the last 2 years )

I've also had a history of depression ..

And no it isn't fun to deal with alone

I do so you know have a great accupuncturist and a lovely cranio sacral lady to talk to but what concerns me is the lack of me time and yes I have VERY mixed feelings of sending my DH away alone . . . because he might want to make a habit of it ..

If I do go I want him to make some 'us' time ( his friends are magicians and they start talking don't include me .. . but are excited to be together so it's not personal it's just well family . .. )

OK . . . I'll do the doc thing . .

I'm waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy over do for a mammogram and a gyno . . . yes! I know I need to do that . . which gets into I really miss my Mom .. .

to go to those with me . . .

I'm sure I'm not alone in going ack! I'm taking everyone to the doc but no one is there to help me!

Yoga . . .yes .. that's crucial and yes! I went . . .

I need to get back into the gym scene . . .

get some classes going to 're enegergize' for

me . . .

Anyway,

thank you very much for your concern and for your mmmmmmmmmmpppphh to get to the doc!

seba

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