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I'm still unbelivably beat .. .
Parents are over 80 and driving me insane along with domestic ( still! ) challenges that I don't know if we can work out ..

Been trying hard so long . . .

Mom and Dad care so very much but if I don't answer the phone RIGHT NOW I get 20 messages saying to pick up the phone . . . do we want their help . . guilt guilt guilt

I am so angry ! that I don't feel 'seen' as taking care of them or a need to be seen as smart . . . hear that . . .

That my vision of a dream and reality are so different . .

Been needing to vent for a while and say aaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhh! I want to live life and I hope my marriage will work . .
but reality is it may not . . .

We've been working so hard for so long . .

Rambling yet again!

Fear that my parents that really are a support emotionally will pass on and my DH won't be there the way I need . . .

So thanks for listening guys

I'm still here!

seba
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Seba Dear:

It can all be such a difficult undertaking after all... How are your parents doing? Are you still going shopping with Mom these days?

I hope things turn around for you and DH � you have been working so hard at it! You are a gem and just need to remember that! You have such a kind and loving heart Seba.

Meanwhile I guess all we can do is value every day with our loved ones. We are always here for you and always so happy to hear from you. You will be fine and things will get better � just keep the faith!

Hugs, Glenda
Hey Glenda . .
My parents are 'fine' but they are over 80 and I get so concerned since yes DH and I have been seeing so many people and things just don't seem to work . . .

I hope we don't have to deal with a divorce . . . but at the same time it might be the best for everyone . . . I'm so very overwhelmed and the tears are streaming at the moment .

Would just hate to lose track of time and then blink and see Mom/ Dad gone whilst working on a marriage.

I'm so very tired of counseling and thank you for being there!

seba
Hi Doll:

Yes - I understand what you mean. You are torn which is so hard...

If you wish, do work on your marriage and see if you and DH can make peace. Do what is best for you, dearheart, in the long run. It is best not to have too many regrets but impossible to have none!

You are not alone! Do take care and I will say a prayer. Meanwhile, take a little break, remember to breathe, and have a cup of hot chocolate or maybe iced tea would be better...

Hugs, Glenda
{{{{Seba}}}}}}

lots of loving hugs and energy are being sent your way....

sometimes its important to be able to take deep breaths and let go of trying to control it all... to surrender and let it unfold.

in truth, I know you understand what I am saying... sometimes it is easier to say it then it is to put it into motion...

you may try to write daily... journal... get all the anxiety out... get everything out through the writing... you can't imagine how cathartic it can be... and when you are writing, sobbing, releasing... newer clearer ways of being may be revealed to you through your writings..

you aren't alone... you are always being guided... we all are.. and sometimes it is about surrendering to the higher power to guide us instead of us feeling that we have to make everything better.. to make it all perfect...

please... please continue to vent... while not many are posting at this time.. many still do read the posts and heal as they read them...

richest blessings

gail
Hi Angel,

As Gail said in another posting "There is light at the end of the tunnel". It is hard to see it while in the caregiver *mode*. I have to agree that journaling is for sure a major benefit, along with sharing with others on this website. I believe Empowering Caregivers saved *ME*.

Hugs,
Robin

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