To recap who I care for real quicky - I care for my Father who has terminal cancer -given 1 week to live 6 months yesterday and my Mother with acute schziophrenia - heart disease - breast cancer & arthritis.
Since August I have been using my friend who is a nurse to sit with my group a few hours a week while I either take a shower - run an errand or go/take someone to the Doctors. I had another helper privately for a few weeks who was stealing my Father's pain medication.
This week I had surgery to have a breast mass removed and thank goodness it came back benign. When trying to plan for the surgery I found a hired a companion service (as well as had some friends help out) for a few days while I couldn't lift. I started them the week before surgery. The one girl who comes is very nice - but she cannot lift my Father. The man weighs less than 100 pounds - and it really isn't that hard to do. She has assisted me in giving him a bath - but I can't really leave her alone with him because she cannot help him. The other girl seemed quite capable of helping him - lifting him - ect.
After my surgery this week I decided now that I am going to take 4 hours every Saturday for myself - something I haven't done for 2+ years. In 2004 I did manage to make it to a wedding and dinner twice out with a friend and that was it for social outings. So yesterday with great excitement I went out to brunch and decided to see a movie - something I haven't done in almost 3 years. It was raining outside so it was great for a matinee. Had an enjoyable brunch - then off to the movies. Well 1 hour into the movie the care-giver called and said my Father fell and that she cannot get him up. The movies is only 5 minutes from my house so I rush home to find him laying there. BOTH care-givers were given specific instructions NEVER to allow him to walk unassisted (meaning - hold under his arm pits behind him - while he is using his walker) - but she did not listen to this and said she allowed him to do this before and he was ok. That does NOT matter. I was very upset. He is laying on the floor - blood coming from his arm - hit his head and his spine hurt (that is one of the places he has the cancer) - I managed to lift him up to his walker (I am still not supposed to be lifting for a week up to the surgery - but started after 48 hours) -and got him in bed and gave him a pain pill and stopped the bleeding on his arm - he is on coumadin - so that was a tasks in itself.
He does not seem severely hurt just very sore. He is not quite himself today - but I have seen him like this before - without falling. This was my 1st social outing in almost 8 months and look what happened. How can I EVER feel comfortable to leave him again.
What REALLY bothers me more than anything is that these are trained professionals. I am a Mortgage Professional and very good @ my business. I am NOT a professional care-giver or health worker - but in 6 months I have NEVER had anything like this happen!!! I pay these people $23.00 an hour to let him fall.
So now I just sit here and think - ok I will continue to do this by myself and ONLY leave the house to run to the bank or go to the Doctor - something simple & easy and quick - and give them instructions NOT to let him move while I am gone.
Just when I decided to start getting a little piece of my life back - my first outing and boom. I am very disappointed & frustrated. But very lucky he did not break a hip or any other bones. It could have been worse - but still -
Thanks for listening