I made the decision a week ago, to move in with my mother. I had a niece living with her to be there during night, and help coming from 8 -2 weekdays. My niece was to fill in the other times. Well she had a baby in February (single mom) and she began to feel overwhelmed. She needed "time" so she would leave and be gone endless hours if not all night. That was leaving me (full time mother of 3) coming over and sitting till she decided to come home. While I "sit", my work at home isn't getting done and I am leaving my family and kids. So to make it easy on me, I chose to move in with mom. My youngest stays with me during school week, and my husband joins me on weekends. I care for mom during night and till I go to work and as soon as I return. Having done so, my niece threw a fit and left! So now we have no help in afternoons.
Meanwhile, I am not accustomed to full time caregiving. I have fibromyalgia and it is hard getting up and down, and I do have to get up and down all the time. On one hand, I am glad to do this as I fear mom won't last long, but the other hand, it is stressing me and my whole family. My brother is my only other family and he works too many hours, plus pulls the "head in sand" routine alot. We argue alot about this, to which makes my mom feel so bad. We lost my father in Decemember and we are all still feeling the loss dearly.
She (mom) has home health and therapy coming out during week. She is in and out of hospitals and when she is in hospital she insists I stay with her there.
I don't take naps anymore. I wake up at least 3 times during night to help her and barely manage to get myself ready for work. She is so completely dependant on others. It makes her feel shameful and I feel sorry for her that she has come to this. But I am not sure I made the right decision. But I felt I didn't have a choice.
We tried a rehab out of town and that was a nightmare to the whole family and mom, then a rehab/nursing home to which they almost killed her! So I said she will just have to come home and stay her till she dies. Then I consulted the doctor about hospice. He said in his opinion he thought she would outlive 6 months! Not that I am ready for her to go, but does that mean I am hear for years???
I wish I could go and on, but my time is limited as you all know. She is hollering for me now. Each time I go to fold clothes or fix a snack or use restroom, something happens and she needs me!! I will keep praying!!