Hello there. I am at a loss and would appreciate any advice anyone has.
My mom is 76 years old and in good health. She is semi-retired, working a part time job making about $200 a month in part time income. She also gets a $1450 Social Security check each month.
A few years ago, before she retired (forced due to firing), she was having problems with the increasing rent and the lack of attention the landlords gave to problems in the apartment.
My husband and I helped her out by finding a condo that was to her specifications (HAD to have 2 bedrooms, HAD to have attached garage, HAD to have 2 bathrooms, HAD to be 2nd floor or higher, etc.) She did not have the $ for a down payment, so we bought the place and had her pay the mortgage + association + taxes + insurance, as there was no way we could afford to pay our own mortgage and these fees as well. She was okay with this and from the get go, we had told her that we would own the condo and eventually continue to rent it out to her or someone else until we were ready to retire and then we would move in.
She was OK with this THEN. Now, she is looking at her situation and she only has so much money in the bank from her 401K and realizes that some day she is going to run out of money.
My husband and I have tried to reason with her and convince her to look for an apartment that has less rent. However, this would mean going down to a 1 bedroom, possibly not having an attached garage (or any garage at all), etc.
She REFUSES to find something that costs less and just wants me and my husband to reduce her rent.
My husband (who is a bit controlling), has tried to come up with "Options" for her that don't completely mess up financially, but may help her stay in the condo (her preffered choice) for a little less money.
However, there are conditions on the options, such as: she has to pay the year's worth of rent up front, but can pay $1200 instead of $1350 and he gives her deadlines of when she has to decide this by, or he will not renew her lease. There have been a few deals like this that she has said she would take and then backed out at the last minute.
She also is a spender. My husband and I are very practical and do spend money, but only if we have it.
She has been known to spend $70 on a pair of cashmere earmuffs. And then, she turns around and tells us we should give her money to help pay for the condo.
Basically, I am stuck in the middle.
I don't agree that my Mom spends her money foolishly and won't be realistic about finding a place to live that is less money.
I don't 100% agree will all of the "deals" my husband offers my mom. They do benefit her is some way, but are also pretty stringent. I know that he does this because he wants to help, but doesn't like feeling like he is being taken advantage of. I can't disagree with him there. I know my mom isn't MEANING to take advantage, but she is willing to stick her hand out, but not try to help herself.
I have one sibling - a brother. He does not have much money himself and can't help financially, but believes my mom should have WHATEVER she wants (within reason). He thinks she SHOULD get a 2 bedroom place if she WANTS it, he thinks she should RECARPET a rental even though it doesn't need new carpeting. However, he is not paying for these things. She is and she is running out of money. Basically he agrees that my husband and I should help my mom out financially. I don't think it's fair and I HATE being stuck in the middle.
I've thought about divorcing my husband (and he's threatened a couple of times), but I DO love him and he's actually really good to me, just not really willing to give my Mom everything she wants.
I've sided with my husband on most everything so far, because he will divorce me if I don't and I do see his viewpoint.
If it were just me and no husband, I would probably end up in the poor house paying for everything my Mom wanted me to. I'm kind of a push over.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I'm at a total loss.