Caregiving for my elderly parents is just one stress inducing items on my plate. I also have to deal with my 24 year old daughter and her never-ending issues and problems and with my son who also has some issues. Just because they are not children any more doesn't mean I care about them any less. They are always on my mind and I always want to be there for them when they need me - it's part of my job as being a mom.
I also have dealth with a huge amount of stress at my last job. There was just too much multi-tasking for me and it only made my depression and anxiety worse as well as my fibromyalgia pain which tends to flare at the most stressful moments. One of my doctors told me that the more you multi-task, the lower your IQ becomes.
My life had become too overwhelming for me after I left that job in June '06. I was on state short-term disability for 6 months and since December, I have not been bringing in any income. My confidence was lost when I lost my job (2 losses)!
My husband and I are putting our house up for sale so we can move into a 55+ community. Without me being able to continue working full time, we are simply not bringing in enough money to pay all our monthly bills.
I am sitting in my house with boxes all over (since we have begun boxing all our stuff) and have removed most of my personal items in each room. I feel like my life is in limbo right now until we get the painting finished, new carpet put in, and property listed and hopefully sold soon.
I will get this huge mess very soon, and I do know that in the end, I will be able to live more comfortably and less worried about paying all my bills on time. That worry in itself has caused many sleepless nights and much anxiety.
I am on the proper medications and I have doctors that I feel are doing the best for me. My rheumatologist and chiropractor have helped me deal with so much pain. The rheumy is always open to new or different ideas and never gets insulted if I see another doctor for whatever the reason might be. I am dealing with severe foot pain in one of my feet and I am willing to spend money on an out-of-network doctor who has years of experience and will make me new orthotics. This foot pain translates into pain going from my toes up to my knee or thight. When it really hurts, it feels like I've just stepped on a huge nail.
I am sorry for all my rambling. I am not looking for anyone's sympathy because I know many of you have even worse pain and problems. I just needed to spill my guts in words instead of tears.
I feel for each and every one of you having a "full plate." I am very thankful that I have such an understanding and caring family. Life today is just too complicated at times and there are too many things going on at once.