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I have been caring for a 32 yr old man (62 lbs) for 14 years, for the last 10 he has been living with me in my home. On several (4 or 5x) occasions his mother tried to care for him in her home only to keep him for one or two nights and return him to me saying that she was not able to do it. Recently she asked the bank that holds his trust if she could be paid an hourly wage for herself by doing so. For the last two weeks she has taken him home only to bring him back to me with complications (weight loss (4 lbs. in three days) very concentrated urine in his depends,(although I stress the importance of fluid intake), and now I'm starting to see signs of depression when he returns. I don't know how much more I can endure. This man is like my little boy and we have a very strong bond. My family is like his family and he sees them as such. I'm at a loss as what to do. I have an appointment with my dr. because I am becoming physically ill from the stress. Is there anyone suffering from this and are there any suggestions from someone who may be going through the same thing.
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Dear Mary:

Your situation, as is each of ours, is very unique. I can tell you are very attached to your dear friend. Yes, you need to see your doctor. You need to take care of yourself...

I started out this response by asking a lot of questions. I had to wonder what is wrong with your friend in a physical sense. It sounds very serious! However, I do imagine that he is mentally very sound. Have you discussed these things with him?

This is a very hard time for you. It may be, that your friend is not thriving any more. There are some things that we have to think about when health issues are as they are... Sixty-two pounds at 32 years-old man is a serious health problem. And losing weight on the top of that is worrisome... Don't you think his mother loves him?

Meanwhile, keep your thoughts in a journal to review when need be. There are so many things that make sense in a different light of a different day. In the meantime, breathe deep and try not to worry. We're here for you...

Love and Hugs from Glenda
Hello Mary,

Welcome, I am concerned who decided that you would be paid from his trust.. Was it his mother, the court or someone else? Is the mother wanting to take care of him to have wages because she is in need of money or honestly wanting to care for him out of love? Can you share more of what is going on so that we can respond better...

blessings
gail

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