My 81-year-old mother is a domineering and controlling person. She would think nothing of belittling, badgering, and/or verbally abusing her children to achieve her goals or desires. About 7 years ago she was diagnosed with Parkinson and 3 � years ago started to showed early signs of dementia. At that time I became her full time caregiver, my brother had passed away and my sister lives 100 miles away and was no help. I have basically been on duty 24/7 since that time with very little breaks. If my sister would come in for a weekend, my mother would insist that the family must be together and would badgering me until I would come over and be with her and my sister. Thus no relief from care giving because my mother would look to me to help her even though my sister has there. Her dementia has gotten progressively worse over the years. I have become more depressed and my husband says that I have caregiver burn out. Four months ago she broke her hip and has been in a rehab nursing home since that time. I visit her almost every day (between 2 to 6 hours a day) on her insistences. If I do not show up, she calls me and pulls all her tricks to get me to do things (guilt trips, pleading, begging, badgering, abusing what ever it takes to make break down and agree to her wishes). She has no idea why she is in the nursing home and wants out. Everyday no matter if I am there 2 hours or 4 hours she constantly asks, pleads, begs to come home the entire time of the visit. It is driving me nuts. I�m at the point that I believe I hate her. Every health care professional I ask, says that she is not able/capable to be left alone and must have 24/7 care. I have told her that we would have to hire a person to take care of her if she came home. She refuses and agrees only to a maid once a week and tells me that I can take of her. I can�t give her 24/7 care without leaving my husband. Our home is not big enough for me to bring her home to my house so I have been resisting her constant demands to come home. I have told her why she can�t come home in a positive matter per what counselors and physiologists have told me to do. Nothing has changed, the next visit she insists I take her home. I have thought of staying away from her and not answering the phone for a long period (2 weeks or more), in hopes that maybe she would become dependent on the nursing home staff for help. But I can bring myself to do that. I am afraid that I will eventually be badgered into bring her home and ruining my life. Has anyone had a person in a nursing home who constantly asks to come home? How did you stop the requests?
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